


Becoming

by CatWinchester



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-05-13 10:58:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 39,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5705074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatWinchester/pseuds/CatWinchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While working for the Avengers as part of his punishment, Loki helps them infiltrate Hydra, and discovers Nina, a vampire that Hydra have reduced to little more than a slave and have been abusing for decades. </p><p>Drawn to the damaged woman, he protect her from SHIELD’s wrath and helps her heal, but can someone so damaged ever recover? </p><p>Hydra assumes she was killed or captured when most of the organisation went down but when she starts making headlines, they decide they want their asset back. </p><p>Can Nina escape them, or will she fall back under their power.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Prologue**

Nina cocked her head slightly to the side so she could hear them. They probably had no idea her hearing was so sensitive, but even locked in this tiny room, she could hear every word, although the room next door was supposedly sound proofed.

_“Look at her, she’s not human.”_

Well, they weren’t wrong, Nina mused. It had been years since she was human. In fact, she didn’t even know why she was keeping up the pretence of being civilised.

_“She might be unusual, but she is as human as you are, Stark.”_

She smiled slightly at Loki’s defence of her, but her smile soon faded. Rescuer or not, he reminded her of where she had come from.

At the two way mirror, she removed her contact lenses, allowing her black eyes to be seen by whoever was behind that mirror. Her instinct was to squint under the harsh fluorescents but although the light was painful, she didn’t give in to the urge.

_“What the hell is up with her eyes?”_

_“She’s nocturnal, she has no iris like other people do.”_ Loki said, as though it should be obvious.

Her lips and chin were covered with blood, as was her beige suit and white shirt, and she made no attempt to clean herself up. Instead she took out the clips that held her snow white hair up, then she scratched at the roots. Between the fight earlier and the hairspray, it only served to make her hair more nest like.

Finally she cocked her head to the side, something her former boss hated as he said the gesture looked unnatural, then she crouched down and exposing her fangs, she hissed as she pounced at the mirror, striking it hard enough to crack the toughened glass.

_“That- that is not normal.”_

That was someone new, and she could hear the fear in his voice. Good, if he knew what was good for him, he’d keep his distance.

Satisfied that she had freaked her watchers out enough, she retreated to the corner furthest from the mirror and the door, not bothering to actually break the mirror down. They knew she could, and that was enough.

She sank down to the floor and lowered her head, letting her hair fall over her face as she tried to keep some of the light out.

 _“She’s trying to frighten you,”_ Loki explained.

_“Yeah? Well I’d say she’s doing a bang up job.”_

_“Stark,”_ Loki sighed and Nina frowned, she didn’t like it when he was upset. _“She’s human, trust me, she’s just…”_

_“A murderer! She killed fifteen people today, Loki. Now I know that’s pocket change for you, but it isn’t to us.”_

_“You don’t know what those people did to her,”_ Loki said, softly, probably knowing she could hear but hoping she wouldn’t.

 _“What do you mean?”_ Now the other man sounded interested.

_“Look at her, cowering in the corner. How many cold blooded murderers do you know who hide in corners?”_

_“Maybe it’s a trap, make us think she’s weak, harmless.”_

Loki sighed again, then she heard the crackle of speakers.

“Stand,” she heard Loki’s voice say, amplified by the intercom.

Immediately she got to her feet, facing the mirror, her hands behind her back, feet shoulder width apart.

 _“You see how well they have her trained,”_ she heard Loki say, no longer talking through the speakers.

_“That’s not necessarily a good thing.”_

_“Not that kind of training, Stark, she…”_

She remained where she was, staring straight ahead until ordered otherwise. Her eyes were starting to sting but she didn’t dare close them.

“My friend is coming in,” Loki spoke through the intercom once more. “If you want to eat in the next week, you’ll show him a good time.”

No! Not Loki! Not him! He had been her friend, he promised this was over!

She was well fed, over fed really, she was at her maximum strength and could easily take on and kill another 50 men, maybe more.

Resisting never occurred to her though.

She removed her jacket and began to unbutton her blouse, silent tears falling as she did so. Somehow this was worse than when they did it, she was ready for cruelty from them.

Suddenly the door opened and it was Loki.

“Stop,” he cried, approaching her and taking her in his arms. He pressed her head into his neck, knowing it would shield her from the light. Her arms went around him, holding him tightly as she inhaled his scent.

He smelled of vanilla and cocoa, slightly spicy but rich and warm. He smelled like safety. With her tears already flowing, they flowed harder and for the first time in years, she sobbed.

“I’m sorry,” he crooned softly. “I had to show them… I shouldn’t have done that, I swear, it will never happen again. You’re safe now.”

She heard someone approach the door.

“They…” It was the one called Stark

“Yes,” Loki confirmed. “They kept her half-starved and used the threat of removing her food to make her compliant.”

“The men that she…”

“Were among those who had raped her, yes. I _told her_ she could kill them.”

She sobbed harder at his words, she wasn’t sure why. Maybe because while she and no one else named what had happened to her, she could fool herself into thinking that it wasn’t. Maybe she could lie to herself, or forget about it, or call it something else, something that didn’t make her the weak victim.

But he was right.

“They’ve terrorised this poor girl for years, and I will not allow you or SHIELD to add to her burdens by imprisoning her for crimes that were not her fault.”

She heard the other man sigh. “Okay, look, I can’t promise anything long term but for now, she’s your responsibility. Do what you have to do but if she goes postal, I can’t help you.”

“And if she doesn’t?”

“We’ll see, play it by ear, so to speak. I’ll try and keep people away from your floor, make it easier for her.”

“That won’t be necessary, however, if you could procure blood for us, that would be most helpful.”

She noticed he’d said ‘us’ not ‘her’.

“Should be doable.”

“She’ll need two litres a day, it can’t be older than three days. O positive or B positive, if possible.”

She felt Loki stiffen and assumed the other man had made an expression of distaste.

“If we aren’t prisoners, I think I’ll take Nina to our apartment, get her washed up and settled in.”

“Sure thing.”

Loki swept her into his arms and she kept her head buried in his neck. Her tears had subsided but her eyes were still very sore in the bright light.

“Do you want me to lock your floor down? You can unlock it with a code.”

“I don’t see why,” Loki replied, his tone haughty. “I’ve seen her punch through a brick wall, and that was when she wasn’t properly fed. I hardly think an alarm and a few door locks are going to stop her if she’s determined.”

Poor Loki, he saw his words as simply a statement of fact, he didn’t seem to realise that such words did not relax his human colleagues but rather, frightened them.

***

 


	2. Chapter One

**Chapter One**

**Seven Months Later**

Loki turned over and looked at the woman sleeping beside him.

Most people thought they were a couple, and that was without knowing that they shared a bed, but they weren’t, not really. Loki was her security blanket, that was the extent of it.

He’d tried to give her one of the guest rooms, his apartment was massive after all, so there was no want for space, but she had ‘flipped out’ as Midgardians might say, when she realised that the bed was a divan, not a cot that she could sleep underneath.

“Darling, this is nicer, far more comfortable than you’re used to, and you’re safe here, you can sleep on the bed for a change.”

He’d been calling her darling since a few weeks after he met her, it just felt natural. Hydra thought it a condescension but he didn’t mean it that way.

As soon as the bifrost was fixed, he’d been sent back Midgard to make amends. The Avengers weren’t happy, but Odin had bound his magic and Thor was with him, so they grudgingly accepted him into the fold.

The truth was, although his pride had been hurt by their defeat, he enjoyed working with them. At heart he was a warrior, raised for it since birth, just like Thor, and he enjoyed it. His magic might have been repressed, but he was still virtually unbreakable and a very skilled fighter. Nowhere else on Midgard would offer him such fulfilling fights against such worthy opponents, so he went into each battle with relish, something which quickly endeared him to his fellow Avengers, especially once he’d saved their lives.

It took them far longer to trust him, however.

The real test of that trust had come after 14 months, when they had asked him to infiltrate Hydra. He could tell that they expected him to become a turncoat and use the organisation for his own ends.

Truth be told, the idea had occurred to him, but his magic was still bound and he couldn’t risk never getting it back.

It took him months to manoeuvre to the heart of the organisation, quietly taking out anyone who stood in his way, including those high up the hierarchy.

That was how he met Nina, she had been the bodyguard-cum-pet of Phillips, one of Hydra’s leaders.

Sensing that Loki was not to be trifled with, the man tried to talk him into a partnership, whereby both of them would wipe out the remaining leaders and rule Hydra together.

After the dessert and coffee had been served, Loki snapped his neck.

Even at that first meeting he’d been intrigued by Nina. Phillips had told him what Nina was, a vampire essentially, but one born of Hydra’s science programs. Searching for their own super soldier serum, they had used alien cells from an artefact and spliced them with human DNA. It was crude, and if successful, most test subjects soon died, but Nina had been the exception.

No one knew which alien she had been spliced with, but she had lived.

The experiment was deemed a failure though, since she needed blood to live and was severely weakened by the sun.

Phillips’ father had then taken her as his own and had her trained. Phillips had taken her for himself when he killed his father to assume his position in the organisation.

“How old is she?” Loki asked.

“I think it’s seventy years since they experimented on her, she was in her 20s at the time, if I recall correctly.”

“And she doesn’t age?”

“No, and she heals remarkably quickly.”

All the while they discussed her, Nina stood behind Phillips, not reacting to anything they said.

He learned that she had been infected with viruses that had been cultured on the alien cells, which was as close to DNA splicing as they could get in those days. The structure of DNA hadn’t even been discovered then.

The recklessness of the situation astounded Loki.

“Why doesn’t she kill you and leave?” he asked bluntly.

“She’s very well trained.” Phillips said salaciously as he clicked his fingers. She was at his side in the blink of an eye. He put his hand up her skirt. “She lets me do anything I want to her.”

Loki looked up into her eyes and for a second, she met his gaze before she looked away.

He recognised that haunted look.

Seconds later, Phillips lay dead and Nina unconscious on the floor. He’d had to knock her out in case she tried to defend her boss, then things night have been messy.

He was certain she would switch her allegiance to him, since she had switched from Phillips senior to junior.

Loki tuned to the other guards in the room, who were all pointing pistols at him, stunned expressions on their faces as they couldn’t believe their boss had been killed so swiftly.

Unsure how to proceed, they hesitated until one gun fired, then everyone else let loose.

Loki stood there and lamented the loss of his tuxedo. It was a nice one too, very expensive.

“Are you quite done?” he asked when they stopped to reload. “Good, because the next person to try and shoot me will prove his idiocy and shall be killed immediately.”

He picked his wine glass up off the table and took a sip.

In truth the bullets stung but they didn’t penetrate his skin, so they hadn’t seriously harmed him.

“Now,” he placed the glass down. “Thanks to Mr Phillips unfortunate demise, I am taking over his operation, that includes his home and if you prove loyal, his operatives. Anyone who does not wish to work for me may be killed now.”

He paused to let that sink in.

“No? Good. Now, who was second in command to Mr Phillips?” he asked as he sat back down at the table.

And so he had essentially just stepped into Phillips shoes, even down to keeping Nina as his bodyguard, although it was blatantly obvious that Loki had no need of one.

He let the men believe he was fucking her, and while he didn’t ban them from doing so, he moved her into a room off his bedroom, making it virtually impossible for them to ever get her alone.

In public he treated her with disdain, hardly ever acknowledging her but in private, he began to question her, asking about her life, asking if she wanted to be free.

Finally she plucked up the courage to ask him a question.

“Why don’t you want me like he did?”

She actually looked a little hurt.

“Oh, I do want you,” he assured her. She was beautiful, who wouldn’t want her. “But while I may well be a monster, Nina, I’m not that kind of monster. I have never forced or coerced sex from anyone, and I have no plans to start now. Sex is best when it’s mutual, so you have to want me too.”

“I do want you.” She had sidled up to him, acting coquettishly but when she reached to encircle his neck with her arms, he grabbed her wrists.

“Don’t,” he urged.

“But-”

“I’m the God of Lies,” he said softly, “not because I tell them, Nina, but because I always know them.” He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. “Now go to bed, we have a long day tomorrow.”

He never ordered her to kill either, like Phillips had. If there was any killing to be done, he did his own.

So ingrained was her sexual servitude that it took her another two weeks before she stopped trying to tempt him when they were alone.

A month after that he knew enough to take the organisation down and while what was left of SHIELD raided the buildings he had highlighted, Loki had driven Nina home.

“You remember I told you that you could be free?” he asked.

“Of course.” She smiled but only slightly, probably at the memory of their discussion when he had asked, what would she do if she were free?

He liked her smile. He didn’t see it often, but he was determined to see more of it.

“Well those friends that I told you about? They’re coming to free you today. When we get back to the compound, we need to restrain or kill every Hydra operative there, understood?”

She looked over at him. “Are you ordering me to kill?”

“No, but if you want to, if there’s anyone there who hurt you, you have my permission to kill them, if you wish.”

Her lower jaw wobbled and he wondered if she was about to cry, but she didn’t, not until later when they were in the SHIELD interrogation room.

She did fly through the house like a hot knife through butter though, maiming or killing everyone who had wronged her. It seemed the entire male staff had hurt her, and a few of the women. She left four women and one teenage stable hand alive though, so her killing, while quick and brutal, wasn’t mindless.

SHIELD was less inclined to see it that way but they had eventually come around.

Nina had been his apartment and chaste bed mate ever since.

That first night, when he assured her she could sleep on rather than under the bed, she had nodded that it was all right, but she was clearly terrified. He showed her to the bathroom and taught her how to operate the shower, but he never heard it activate. He guessed she was washing in the sink, so she didn’t have to completely disrobe.

He brought her nightclothes while she washed and laid them on her bed but soon afterwards, he heard the furniture shifting around. When he went to see what was happening, he discovered that the door was blocked so he ordered Nina to open it, and still used to taking his orders, she obeyed.

The room was a mess as she attempted to fortify the door and windows. He knew she would probably never feel safe alone in here, not when one entire wall was made of glass.

He took her in his arms and held her while she trembled.

This was new behaviour and he could only hope that while it seemed to be a step back compared to her usual stoicism, expressing her emotions was somehow helping her.

“Would you feel better if you slept in my room?” he asked.

Keeping her face pressed into his torso, she nodded, looking exceptionally childlike.

“Come on then.”

And so they had shared a bed for the first time.

To begin with they had kept to their own sides but over time, they grew more familiar with each other, although nothing more sexual than a kiss ever happened.

Loki wished it would but he knew he had to be patient. To humans this must feel like a lifetime, and Stark had asked, on more than one occasion, how he could share her bed for seven months and not want to ‘tap that’. Mortals didn’t get immortality. Seven months was but the blink of an eye to him.

He hadn’t often gone this long without sex, but he had opportunities if he wanted them. Nina could be left on her own at night now, and he had received offers, but he refused because something just felt wrong.

Besides, it wasn’t as if he didn’t climax, indeed his shower had received rather regular deposits since she had moved into his bed.

She was learning how to occupy herself, often choosing to read, but she still had a very hard time socialising and saying no to people. Following orders just seemed to be in her nature so she even took a question or a request as an order.

She was having therapy twice a week to help deprogram her, but it was a slow process. After 70 years being treated as something between a slave and property, she could hardly be expected to acclimatise to normal life overnight.

A part of him selfishly wished she’d hurry up so that he might try for a real relationship, but he always felt guilty after such thoughts.

Frowning, he swung his legs out of bed and padded into the bathroom.

Honestly, guilt was a stupid emotion. What was the point of it? It didn’t contribute anything, it couldn’t change prior actions, and most people wouldn’t give a damn if he felt guilty, especially if they were the ones wronged.

No, guilt was clearly just a useless reaction that had no business being among the palate of emotions people felt.

***

Nina awoke to an empty bed but that wasn’t unusual.

Although she had kept human hours for decades, she was by nature nocturnal. She was happiest at night, when the light was low and she didn’t have to squint or wear glasses to protect her from the glare.

Sunblock saved her from the debilitating and harmful effects of the sun, but she still preferred shade.

Now that her time was her own, she enjoyed sleeping late, which meant she hardly ever awoke before Loki left.

She still didn’t keep nocturnal hours because Loki didn’t, and she liked spending time with him, but sleeping in was her little rebellion against her former life.

It was as hard as ever to drag herself from bed during daylight hours, but she managed.

After a shower, she went about her usual morning routine. First she applied moisturiser to her entire body but this one was slightly different, having a small self-tanning factor in it, Used daily it darkened her skin just a shade, so she wasn’t as pale and washed out as she used to be.

Then she rubbed sunblock all over. It was specially made by one of Tony’s friends and much lighter and more effective than store bought sun blocks were. She could stand in midday sun for over half an hour without her skin even starting to burn, while five to ten minutes in direct sunlight had been her absolute limit before. If she also wore long sleeves, trousers and a hat, the sun hardly sapped her strength at all.

Next came the contact lenses. Not only did they give her the appearance of irises when she had none of her own, they were heavily polarised, adjusting so that the brighter it was, the more light they blocked. They allowed her to walk out in all but the strongest light without too much trouble. She also had sun glasses she could use instead of or in conjunction with the contacts, but she preferred the human look of the contact lenses.

She blow dried her blonde bob out next. She’d been required to keep it long while in the service of the Phillips, but now she got to decide.

Once she had changed, all pigment in her body seemed to die, so her hair and eyebrows grew white, her complexion, already fair, lightened further, and of course, her irises disappeared. The Phillips had liked her other worldly look but now she was free to choose, she preferred to look as human as possible.

Her snow white hair had been expertly dyed by someone Pepper took her to, so it was infused with dozens of subtly different shades of blonde lowlights, making her appear naturally platinum blonde. Each month she returned to have her roots touched up. The lowlights were fine and light enough that her white roots weren’t particularly noticeable, not until there was about an inch or so of regrowth.

They also dyed her eyebrows a dark blonde each month so they were just touch darker than her hair.

She used to be brunette but even she could see that her complexion was far too pale to compliment dark hair now.

With her hair done, she picked up her makeup and began by applying brown mascara to her snow white lashes. Black was too much of a contrast for her light features.

Although odd, she always started with mascara because she liked to cover her final trace of vampirism.

Now she as well fed, she didn’t have dark circles under her eyes, and her complexion was as perfect as a porcelain doll, so she only ever needed a little powder to get rid of shine.

With her makeup done, she picked out her clothes. To begin with she had opted for suits and elegant clothing, of the type she had been required to wear for so long. Gradually though, new things crept in. She still kept to light shades like beige, biscuit, or pale pastels, but she preferred jeans or leggings now, even in dark shades, and she often teamed them with smart t-shirts or sweaters.

She no longer owned a blouse, having thrown them all away three months ago. It was a tiny gesture really, but it felt liberating.

Dressed in blue jeans, a white t-shirt and an oversized biscuit coloured cardigan, she headed into the kitchen, popping a carton of blood into the microwave. Heating on level three for 90 seconds raised the temperature just enough to almost be fresh, but it wasn’t hot enough to denature the proteins.

When it dinged, she poured the contents into an oversized cup, the opaque sort that people put water in when they went running, then she left the apartment and headed down to the 5th floor.

Dr. Guyde was her psychiatrist and although the woman disliked Nina, her advice was actually helpful, so she dutifully sat down outside her office and waited.

“Nina!” As she stepped into the hallway, the doctor’s smile was as large as it was false. “Won’t you come in?”

Nina followed her inside and took her seat.

“How are you?” Dr. Guyde asked.

“Fine.” She sipped her blood and noticed the doctor pointedly look away.

“And how are you getting on with saying ‘no’?”

Nina shrugged. It was hard to open up to someone who didn’t like you.

“I heard you went to the movies with Natasha last night.”

Nina nodded. She was used to her movements being watched, so the fact it was now SHIELD watching her didn’t freak her out at all.

“You didn’t tell her that you find movies painful?”

Nina shook her head. The darkened lighting in a theatre was usually fine, especially when she had her contacts in, but the overly loud sound often hurt her sensitive ears. She hated going to the movies but when someone asked ‘Hey, wanna see a movie with me later?’ she felt unable to refuse.

“They’re trying to be friendly, it’ll hurt them if I say no,” she tried to excuse her behaviour.

“It’ll hurt them more to find out that their thoughtlessness has literally been hurting you.”

Nina folded her arms across her chest, knowing the other woman was right.

“You won’t offend anyone if you say no, people refuse offers to go out all the time.”

“Those people probably aren’t monsters and have lots of friends.”

“You’re not a monster,” Dr. Guyde assured her.

But she was. She had killed so many people. Not all of them had been innocent, but some of them were. More than she would like. It didn’t matter that she had been ordered to kill them, they were still dead by her hand.

“Says the woman who is terrified of me,” she took a sip of her blood then smiled, her teeth reddened with the substance.

Dr. Guyde appeared outwardly calm, only her slightly gulping swallow gave away her sudden terror.

“I’m not afraid of you.”

“Yes you are. I can smell it.”

“Smell?”

“My sense of smell is as sharp as my eyesight and hearing. You reek of fear, you have done since the day we met.” Nina smirked then sipped her blood.

The doctor took a moment to compose herself and her next question.

“You don’t like me very much, do you?”

Nina was slightly taken aback by the question. “Why do you say that?”

“You’re trying to intimidate me.”

“Because I’m intimidated by you.” She looked away, tears pricking her eyes. “You’re everything I wish I could have been, smart, educated, independent,” she admitted, rapidly blinking back her tears.

“So you intimidate me to feel powerful?”

“No,” Nina whispered. “It’s _because_ I like you.”

“And all the while I’m afraid of you, I won’t befriend you.”

Nina nodded. That was why, although she didn’t like not appearing human, sometimes she couldn’t help herself, sometimes she felt compelled to appear as something other. She didn’t feel worthy of acceptance, and she didn’t trust herself not to ever hurt these people, she had hurt so many people, after all, so she pushed people away before they could push her away.

“You’re not a monster,” Dr. Guyde repeated.

“You know I am. You’re afraid of me, even when I don’t try. Your higher brain might not want to recognise it, but your primitive brain knows you’re in the presence of a hunter, and that you’re my prey. It’s just nature, Doctor, nothing more sinister than simply the way things should be.”

Dr. Guyde pursed her lips for a moment. “Why do you continue to come and see me?”

“Because you help me. You might not like me, but your words are wise.”

“Yet you don’t believe me when I absolve you of guilt? When I tell you that being tortured into killing isn’t a crime, that you were just the tool, not the killer.”

Nina was silent for a while before deciding to be honest, even although she knew it would kill any last vestiges of hope that this woman might one day think of Nina as a friend.

“Because I didn’t only kill under orders.”

“Tell me.”

Nina picked at one of her fingernails.

“The night I was… I don’t know… reborn sounds pretentious. Remade, maybe.”

“You’re stalling.”

Nina sighed like a petulant teenager, then continued. “They didn’t know what they’d made, they were just glad I was still alive. They ran test after test, poked and prodded me, made me run on a treadmill for what felt like hours. Then they did the pain threshold tests. I was probably about half a day into my new life. I was so hungry, and the more they hurt me, the more hungry I got. I begged for food but they wouldn’t bring me anything until the test was completed. Then they noticed that I was healing from the little burns their electric shocks gave me, and they kept doing it, watching me heal.”

She paused and wiped at her eyes.

“I got hungrier and hungrier, so much so that it became painful, I felt like I was eating myself from the inside out. I was slight so I was only restrained with leather straps, and even in a weakened state, I can snap leather like tissue paper. There were three of them in the room. Something just came over me, like a haze, and the next thing I knew, two were dead and I was drinking the blood of the third, my fangs buried in his neck.”

She began to cry.

“Then what happened,” Dr. Guyde prompted gently.

“They left me alone with the bodies, talking to me only through the intercom. They told me about the men I’d killed, the families they’d left behind, the…” her sobs stopped her speaking, and the doctor waited patiently until Nina had calmed down. She had never sobbed in a session before. She’d shed many silent tears, yes, but she was usually far more controlled than this.

Dr. Guyde hoped it was a sign of progress.

“Can you not see what they did?” she said softly once Nina was sitting quietly again. “You were being tortured and starved. Vampire or not, you defended yourself, as is your legal and moral right. Once Hydra saw your power though, they realised you couldn’t be overpowered physically, so they psychologically overpowered you, leaving the bodies in there with you. That would traumatise anyone, then making you feel guilty when they were the ones who did wrong. They kidnapped you, they experimented on you, they turned you into something no one understood, and then they blamed you for it. Anyone would break under that kind of pressure, and from what I gather, your treatment never improved, only changed to new horrors, correct?”

Nina sniffed and wiped at her eyes.

“Why do you do that?” she asked, keeping her gaze downcast. “Try to make me feel better?”

“When I’m frightened of you?” Dr. Guyde clarified and Nina nodded. “My fear is not a reflection on you. Vampires have been a fear of mine since I was a child. I can’t remember which movie it was, but I was far too young to be watching it, and I sat there terrified. It’s like someone who has been bitten by a dog as a child might fear them in later life.”

“They don’t usually excuse other vicious dogs’ actions though.”

“I’m not trying to excuse you, Nina, I’m trying to give you a true picture of what you’ve endured. For longer than I’ve been alive, you’ve been used, abused, belittled, and dehumanised. It’s no wonder you don’t see yourself as human, because you were essentially kept as an exotic pet. No matter my personal feelings, no one deserves to see themselves through their abusers eyes… and maybe in time, my childish fears will fade and perhaps one day, when your therapy is over, we can be friends.”

Nina glanced at her but quickly looked away. “Thank you, that’s one of the nicest things anyone has said to me but… I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Dr. Guyde’s pity for her patient shone through for a moment, before she composed her features into a more neutral façade once more.

“You do have friends though, don’t you, Nina?”

“Some.” She shrugged. When Dr. Guyde didn’t continue she filled the silence. “Loki was my first friend, I’d still be there without him. I like Thor too, but he’s always so happy that I can't be around him for too long. And I like Bruce. His intelligence intimidates me sometimes, but he’s nice.”

“What about Steve, Tony, Nat, or Clint? And of course, Pepper. Everyone loves Pepper Potts.”

“Clint doesn’t like Loki, so I don’t see much of him. Nat gave me some great makeup advice and she tries to take to out once a week-”

“So is she not your friend?”

“No, we’re too different.”

Dr. Guyde thought of the Black Widows history, and wondered if Nina knew how much they had in common.

“And the others?”

“Tony is funny, but he intimidates me, and Pepper is sweet, but she’s really busy.”

“And Steve?”

“Steve is… nice.”

“Is that all?”

Nina shifted in her seat.

“So you and Steve aren’t friends?”

“Not really.”

“Why?”

Nina didn’t answer immediately and the silence stretched out until it became uncomfortable.

“He… he reminds me of my brother. He reminds me of when I was normal.”

“And you don’t like remembering your former life?”

“I’ll never be human again. Remembering it just seems cruel.”

The psychiatrist nodded. “Have you noticed that the only people you call your friends are the unbreakable ones?”

Nina couldn’t meet her doctor’s eyes but her small nod confirmed it.

“Why?”

Nina thought it was obvious, it was because she knew she literally couldn’t kill them, not accidentally or even if ordered to.

“Do you honestly think that anyone on the Avengers team is unable to defend themselves?” Dr. Guyde continued. “These people have faced aliens and gods, as well as technology and weapons far outside of our understanding. Do you really think they would just let you hurt them?”

“No, but that doesn’t mean I can’t.”

“Even Steve? He’s not exactly a normal man any more.”

“I’m stronger than him, and if drained of enough blood, he would die as easily as everyone else does,” she replied sadly.

“But your biggest fear isn’t your own blood lust, is it? Your biggest fear is being ordered to hurt them.”

Nina nodded sadly.

“Even although you know that your former captors are all dead?”

“The first generation of my captors, as you put it, are long dead too. That didn’t stop the next generation taking over.”

“You really don‘t believe you could say no to someone who wished to corrupt you again?”

“I can’t say no to going to the movies, and that’s without…”

“Other coercions?”

“That’s a tactful way to put it.”

“Then I think we need to focus exclusively on your ability to say no for a while. Every day I want you to say ‘no’ to at least five things.”

“I don’t think I get asked to do five things a day.”

“You will now. I’ll ask people in the tower to approach you with requests. Some so outlandish they should be easy to say no to. Others you might want to say yes to, but I want you to consider each one carefully.”

“And if I don’t?”

“There are no consequences, the only person you will have let down, is yourself.” Dr Guyde answered. Nina asked this a lot and although it was a little exasperating as each time the answer was exactly the same. “But don’t think I’m going to stop gently pushing you to overcome your past.”


	3. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nina discovers more about her origins and tries to implement her therapists advice.

**Chapter Two**

Nina was on the 21st floor, the training floor.

From the outside it looked like any other floor but from the inside the reinforcements were easy to spot. There were no windows and in their place as the entire external wall was reinforced with a vibranium and steel alloy.

It had never been tested against the Hulk but Thor’s hammer was only able to dent it.

Nina had never trained before. She was aware of the modern interest in going to the gym and various types of martial arts, but she had never partaken in such things. Gym work was still pretty much useless to her, they didn’t make 3,000 lbs weights.

The training though, she enjoyed that, as long as it was against Loki or Thor.

She’d been hesitant to start with, but Thor had explained that the Avengers needed to train against a range of different fighting styles, so they were better equipped to face future foes.

She didn’t like fighting the weaker team members, not even Tony in his Iron Man suit, but she did so because she was asked to. Usually she got her arse handed to her because she held back so much.

Today she was fighting with Stark, and taking rather a pounding from his blasts. She’d jumped on him and forced him to the ground a few times, but never with enough force to keep him down.

“Okay, that’s enough,” he said as his blaster shot hurled her into the wall for a… third or fourth time. It was hard to keep track of these things.

Loki approached and offered her a hand up, which she accepted.

“Are you okay?”

“I will be in a few moments.” she offered him a reassuring smile.

“You know,” Tony said, removing his helmet as he approached. “You do no one any favours by holding back.”

“I wasn’t holding back,” Nina lied.

Tony was one of the few people who had never been afraid if her, and that worried her. After all, the man must be unstable to not be frightened of her, she reasoned. And who knew what risks such a man might take.

In the beginning he didn’t like her, and he certainly didn’t trust her, but he never feared her.

“I’ve seen you fight Loki and Thor, I know what you can do, and you always go easy on us.”

“Look, one wrong move and I could literally snap you like a twig,” she argued. “I exercise caution, I do not hold back.”

“Liar.” He turned and walked away. “Give me a call if you ever want a real fight.”

Nina growled, a low and dangerous sound she couldn’t always stop herself making, and it was one of the inhuman things she did that kept most people wary, if not outright afraid of her.

Loki never seemed to care though.

“He is right,” he said, putting an arm around her shoulders and leading her from the room.

She was mostly healed already but would need to wash the blood off.

“I know.” Loki was the only person she could always admit the truth to. He often didn’t understand her reasoning or why she felt certain ways, but he always accepted it.

Most other people tried to talk her around to their point of view, but Loki was happy with acceptance.

Nina suspected it was because when she had learned of his past crimes, she hadn’t said anything to him. It was Clint who told her, thinking she would be ashamed of him, or hurt by his not telling her, or angry with him for what he did.

Instead she simply nodded and said, “Thank you for telling me,” before following Loki out of the room.

She had known there was a secret he was keeping from her, so she was pleased to know, hence why she thanked Clint.

She found Loki in their bed, the lights off and the curtains drawn. She didn’t need much light to see that he was lying on his back, staring at the ceiling.

“You can take the spare room,” he said.

Nina just undressed to her underwear and climbed into bed, resting her head on his shoulder. A few minutes later he let out a long sigh, then moved so his arm encircled her shoulders, holding her against him.

He never said anything more about his past crimes, nor her odd reaction, but she had probably killed as many, if not more in her lifetime. Who was she to judge anyone else?

Loki had always been good to her, better than everyone else since she was remade, and she would continue to be his friend for as long as he would let her.

***

Once she was cleaned up and changed, Loki requested she join him on the roof (well, the highest terrace) and she found him at the railing, looking down into the city.

“Hey,” she came up and put an arm around his waist. For some reason, they were very affectionate, which was unusual, because she didn’t accepted physical affection from anyone else. “What’s up?”

“I want you to jump off this building,” he said, turning to her and smiling.

“Why?” Nina frowned, removing her arm from around him and stepping back.

“I think it would be a good training exercise.”

“Loki, I know I’m tough, but I seriously don’t think I could survive that kind of fall.”

“So you’re refusing?” he was frowning now, his expression bordering on angry. He hardly ever got angry at her.

“I…”

“Are you refusing or not?” he asked, almost yelling.

“Yes!” she answered, fear making her match his anger with bravado.

“Thank the Gods for that,” he grinned, his anger evaporating immediately as he stepped closer, his arms outstretched.

“Wait, what?” she took a step back, her arm raised in warning.

“Your first refusal of the day,” he answered, his expression slightly hangdog now, trying to earn her forgiveness. “I thought it should be something easy to say no to, although I confess that you worried me, for a moment I thought you were actually considering it.”

“For a moment, I was,” she admitted, stepping into his embrace. “Then I just thought you’d gone crazy and might try to hurl me off so I could be your spirit guide into the next life or something.”

The rise and fall of Loki’s chest gave away his nearly silent chuckle.

“You know, usually I say reading can never be a bad thing, but with an imagination like that, I'm starting to think I should ration you.”

“Don’t you dare,” she growled.

“Hey, that’s number two.”

Nina smiled, but she didn’t really count that one, she knew he’d been teasing her and her reply had also been playful. Besides, she found it easier to refuse Loki because she was almost sure he wouldn’t react badly.

“Oh, hey,” Bruce said as he came out onto the terrace. “Jarvis said I'd find you two up here.”

Nina pulled away from Loki but neither of them dropped their arms, so they were still holding each other.

“Dr Banner.” Loki greeted him.

“Hi,” Nina smiled.

“This just came for you,” he told Loki, holding a box that had its lid removed.

“Is that the Verǫld Edda? They found a manuscript here?”

“Not exactly,” Bruce admitted. “When Thor went to visit Jane, he didn’t exactly go to see her.”

“He returned to Asgard,” Loki realised with a sigh.

“He was afraid you would be upset if you knew he could go back but you couldn’t.”

“Yes, because there’s nothing I enjoy more than being in the company of people who think me a monster because of an accident of birth. My only reason to return would have been for this book but since Thor sent it, I’m not upset.”

Loki took the box and headed inside.

“What is it?” Nina asked.

“The Verǫld Edda is an ancient text detailing the realms and peoples of those realms.”

He placed the box on the table and with reverence, he took the book out and laid it on the table.

“How old is it?” Nina asked.

“In Earth years, about 500,000.”

“Half a million years old?” she whispered. She’d been thinking a few hundred, maybe a thousand. “How does a book even last that long?”

“Our manuscripts are made using magic,” Loki answered, carefully turning pages. “It can’t save a book forever but it will vastly prolong its life. Ah.”

He began running his finger down the page as he read, unfortunately the runic language meant nothing to Nina.

“What is it?” she asked, leaning over even although she couldn’t read it.

Bruce was standing on the opposite side of the table, also leaning over to see.

“An ancient account of the realms and races. I recall hearing of a race once, who inhabited Niflheim, which is the harshest of all the known realms. It receives hardly any sunlight and even when it does, it’s known as the mist world, so very little light makes it to the planet’s surface. Here,” he began to read aloud. “‘T _he Lámey, the females are Lámeyla, the men Lámaor_ ’, that literally translates as blood girl or blood man.” Loki explained. _“‘Due to the lack of light their skin lacks pigment and as an advantage over other beasts, they became nocturnal, hunting at night when other animals were at their weakest. Due to the strong gravity and harsh conditions, they are among the strongest of all known races_ ’.”

“Is… is this what I am?” Nina asked, her voice hardly louder than a whisper.

“Not exactly. According to this, the Lamey were nearly nine feet tall and 500 pounds of muscle. However I do believe that this is the race your DNA was fused with. You are, essentially, part Lamey.”

“Actually, that might make sense,” Bruce spoke up. “We have some vampire legends on earth where the creatures are called something similar. In Greek mythology, Lamia were said to feed off the blood of children. In Basque mythology the Lamia were blood drinking sirens but if a gift was left for them, then they could be helpful, often finishing work. They were said to be responsible for building many bridges, but always at night, they were never seen in the daytime. Is it possible these creatures visited Earth?”

“More than possible. Natural portals exist between all worlds, but it would have been in antiquity in human terms, because the Lamia died out at least ten thousand years ago, before even Odin was born. Like other Gods, they have unusually long lifespans, so it’s possible that only one or two visiting here could have been trapped, then lived for thousands of years, keeping the legends going for generations.”

“So I’m not evil and soulless?” Nina asked softly.

Loki wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “No, darling, just alien, like me.”

Nina felt herself choking up and Loki pulled her into a proper hug.

“Is that that they told you?” he asked.

“Not just them,” she answered. “Only recently have vampires been seen as romantic, all other representations of them are gruesome creatures. I mean, what drinks blood if it’s not evil?”

“Actually,” Bruce spoke up, although he seemed hesitant given their embrace. “In scientific terms, blood drinkers are known as haemovores or hematophagous, and it’s far more common in nature than you’d think. Blood is rich in proteins and lipids that can be easily digested, so, hematophagy has evolved as a preferred form of sustenance in many animals. It’s evolved independently across many different species but perhaps the most well-known is the vampire bat. There’re also invertebrates, arthropods, fish, even birds, there’s a species of finch known as the vampire finch, a hood mockingbird which can feed off blood, and something known as an oxpecker.”

“Really?” Nina asked. She was still wrapped up in Loki’s arms but listening intently.

“Really and truly. It’s not even as unheard of among humans as you might think. The Maasai drink cow’s blood mixed with milk. According to Marco Polo, the Mongols would drink blood from their horse when necessary and in some cultures, drinking the blood of an enemy slain in battle was a common ritual. Even today, people from your neck of the woods eat black pudding, more accurately called blood sausage, and some religions ritualise the symbolic drinking of blood, if not the real thing.”

Nina smiled at him and wiped the last of her tears away.

“Thank you,” she told Bruce, who nodded his acceptance and quietly excused himself. Nina then turned to Loki. “And you, thank you so much for this. It’s nice to know that I’m not just an experiment, that I’m part of something, a race or culture.”

“Quite possibly, you’re all that remains of them, the last living descendant, here to keep their memory alive.”

“That’s a nice idea.” She smiled. “Does the book say anything else about them?”

“Some. I’ll translate it all into English, so you can read it at your leisure. If I’m ever allowed back into Asgard, it’s likely that our ancient manuscript collection has more detailed references to the Lamey and their history.”

Nina laid her head back on his chest and let out a long, contented sigh.

She wasn’t sure how this information would affect her in the long term, but for right now, and perhaps the first time ever, she felt okay about being a blood sucking creature of the night.

***

Avengers Tower, as it had come to be known, had communal living and dining areas, for those who wanted to eat in company, or socialise. These areas were open to everyone, although there was no cook, so meals had to be prepared by someone in the group.

Nina had joined them for two reasons, first because she knew she should try and be more sociable and secondly, because she knew she still had four requests to refuse.

“Hey, Nina,” Tony said, entering the large room.

The space was completely open plan and one corner had the kitchen, another the television, a foosball table was on the third corner and a gaming console had been set up in the fourth.

Nina was seated at the dining table, playing chess with Bruce. He always beat her but she was improving and took that as a good sign. She was surprised he kept agreeing to the matches since it was clear she was no challenge for him, but for some reason, he did.

“I bought the stuff to make fajitas for everyone but I have some work to do. If you could just whip us up a batch, that’d be really great.”

“Uh…” She didn’t know what to say, she hadn’t cooked anything in… well she couldn’t exactly remember the last time.

Tony evidently took her hesitation as an acceptance though, as he said, “Fantastic, I appreciate it,” then he turned and walked away. “I’ll be back in an hour.”

An hour? She had to learn how to cook again in an hour? She’d better bloody get a move on then.

“Excuse me,” she said to Bruce, leaving their game and heading to the kitchen.

She could eat normal food. It had no nutritional value and tasted like dirt, but she could eat it. She knew this from her times being starved, when they had given her regular food just to see how she would react. Eventually she’d eaten it just to sate the hunger, but it didn’t work for very long.

As she rummaged through the fridge, she realised that she had no clue what fajitas actually were. She knew enough to know that they were some sort of unleavened bread wrap, but what went into them? How did you even make unleavened bread? What were the spices that TV adverts seemed to think were so necessary to the recipe?

She stood up, suddenly feeling incredibly panicked because she wasn’t going to be able to do this and everyone would go hungry and be upset with her. .

“You’ve never done this before, have you?” Bruce asked, making her jump.

She turned to see him leaning against the counter, observing her, and it was a testament to how flustered she felt, that she hadn’t even heard him approach. She was a goddamn predator, for pity’s sake, and nothing should be able to sneak up on her, but especially clumsy humans.

“Uh, no, can't say that I have.”

Bruce smiled and pushed off the counter and headed for the fridge. “How about you just assist me then?”

“Uh, okay.” That seemed like an ideal solution.

For the next few minutes they sliced and chopped the meat and vegetables and Nina began to relax. This wasn’t so hard. Even better, the tortillas came readymade, only needing reheating and no baking required.

Things soon became complicated with different sauces and grated cheese, and the salsa had to be in both hot and mild varieties because of different palates.

Bruce fried up the meat, adding spices and vegetables as if he was an old hand at this cooking lark, and Nina got the many different plates out that he asked for.

“You know,” he said, tossing the contents of the frying pan, “I think this is one of those things you should have refused.”

Her jaw slackened in shock; it hadn’t even occurred to her.

“I guess I’m just used to a time when women did the cooking and men… didn’t.”

“You can still say no,” Bruce said, looking over at her. “Just go off and do your own thing.”

Now she felt bad. “But I can't leave you with all these different dishes to carry through. And we haven’t opened the wine.”

“Nina,” his tone was low, a warning, but she didn’t heed it.

“I’ll say ‘no’ next time. Right now your chicken is burning and it would be unkind to leave you to do this all alone.”

“You were willing to do it all alone,” he pointed out, tossing the mixture before it could catch too much.

“I’m used to doing everything alone,” she admitted, sadly.

“Hey,” Bruce reached out and put his hand on her shoulder. “You’re not alone any more.”

“And neither are you.” She flashed him a smug smile, so he would know she was using his arguments against him.

Bruce shook his head and turned back to the pan, but he was smiling, so clearly he wasn’t offended.

Once everything was served, sizzling hot as well, Nina heated a bag of blood so she could drink it while they ate. It was almost as good as sharing a meal with them.

Everyone except Nat and Barton were there, even Pepper found the time to join them.

Nina took a seat between Loki and Thor, always feeling most comfortable next to Loki, and her second choices were always Thor or Bruce.

She sipped her blood from another opaque bottle, listening to the conversation rather than participating. She noticed that Loki often didn’t join in either, and usually no one bothered either of them. Not tonight however.

“So, how goes Operation Refusal?” Tony asked, just before taking a bite of his fajita.

“Uh, it’s a work in progress,” she admitted.

“I’ll say. These are great. By the way.”

“Bruce did most of the cooking, I just assisted.”

Tony looked to Bruce. “You been holding out on me?”

“If I answer ‘yes’ I’m going to be on cooking duty for the next five years, aren’t I?” Bruce laughed.

“Can you blame me?” Tony shrugged.

“Absolutely.”

While they chatted, Thor pushed his plate away having finished (the man was always ravenous) and turned to Nina, who was engrossed in the banter at the other end of the table.

“Might I have a sip of your blood?” Thor asked Nina.

“What?” she asked as she turned to him. “No!” People were often curious about vampirism so she was used to questions, but never had anyone asked to share her dinner before. They usually found it distasteful.

“That’s rather selfish, I only want to try it.” Thor looked offended and she wavered for a second.

But surely, she reasoned, “If you’ve never cut your finger and sucked… it…” her words trailed off as Thor grinned.

“My apologies, Lady Nina.” He’d been calling her that ever since she smiled the first time he did it. “I was instructed to ask you something outlandish.”

“And you did very well, thank you, Thor.”

Loki reached out under the table and placed a hand on her thigh, giving it quick, reassuring squeeze before withdrawing.

“Does it feel good to say no?” Thor asked.

“It felt pretty horrifying, actually.”

“Why?”

“I suppose I thought that… I don’t know, that having you drink some of my blood would just… reinforce how different I am.”

“But that was the fault of my request. How did denying my request feel?”

“That part?” Nina couldn’t help the small smile that played at the edges of her lips. “That part felt pretty good, especially now I know I haven’t hurt your feelings.”


	4. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

The next month continued in a similar fashion and as she grew in confidence, slowly the requests changed from mostly outlandish ideas, to simple things.

Pepper took her shopping and attempted to foist a bright red suit on her. The suit was gorgeous and would look amazing on Pepper or Nat, hell, it would probably even do wonderful things for Loki’s appearance, but burgundy red just wasn’t her taste, plus she really didn’t like suits.

She firmly yet tactfully refused. Pepper pushed her to try it on, which eventually Nina did, and her opinion was confirmed. Pepper thought it looked amazing but Nina remained firm, thanking her for the suggestion but stating that the clothes were not to her taste and would not get worn.

Clint suggested she learn archery and although she had no interest in the sport, unable to say no, she found herself at a lesson anyway. She didn’t like it. Thanks to her speed, she could reach the target in the same time as an arrow could, so why should she shoot an arrow?

When he suggested a second lesson, she thanked him for his time and but turned him down.

Nat continued to take her to the cinema once a week and it took three more trips before Nina felt able to tell her that she didn’t like the cinema.

They had bought tickets to an action movie, which was Nina’s idea of hell. At least comedies and romances didn’t have loud explosions.

The movie had been playing for twenty minutes and Nina, as discreetly as possible, had her fingers over her ears, just to block a little of the noise out.

Movement down by the screen caught her eye and she noticed someone down there. Wondering why someone was crouching at the side of a movie screen, she held a hand up to block out the picture, allowing her night vision to better focus on the person.

It was a male with a large bag but he was partially hidden by the recessed entrance and she couldn’t really see what he was doing. She leaned over, intruding on Nat’s space.

“What’s up?” the redhead asked.

“Not sure, there some guy near the entrance but I can’t make out what he’s doing.”

“Probably just trying to sneak in for free.”

That didn’t feel right to Nina and in the next second she was sure. The movie wasn’t silent but there were no explosions at the moment, which allowed her to hear the relatively soft click of a magazine being loaded into a gun. Natasha practiced almost every day, so Nina had heard that sound hundreds, maybe even thousands of times.

The man stood up and she could see what he’s been doing. Over his clothes he was wearing a vest that was made to house spare guns and extra ammunition, and he’d pulled a balaclava over his face.

He stood up, an automatic handgun in each hand, and turned towards the audience.

Luckily for Nina, to have a clear view of the entire audience he had to walk ten or so paces until he was in front of the screen, which gave Nina just enough time to act.

With “Holy fuck” being the only warning she was capable of giving Natasha, Nina launched herself out of her seat, using her vampiric strength and speed to leap over everyone and into the central aisle.

Another leap took her halfway to the front but that meant the gunman spotted her and on her third leap, he fired at her.

In quick succession, three bullets went straight through her; she was tougher than a human but not bulletproof, but she wasn’t worried. She landed on the gunman before he could fire a fourth but the distraction of being shot meant that she didn’t take him down cleanly, pushing him to the ground but she had to go a summersault off him before her momentum stopped.

She turned back as quickly as her reflexes would allow and he fired again, but she grabbed the gun and twisted it from his grip, then she punched him to the ground.

His other gun, in his left (and probably weaker) hand hadn’t been used but now, perhaps sensing defeat, he brought the gun up and placed the barrel under his chin.

“I don’t think so, coward!” she said, grabbing that gun also, and breaking a couple of his fingers as she pulled it away.

He howled in pain and clutched his injured hand to his chest, and Nina turned to face the crowd, hoping that the bullets which had passed through her, hadn’t hurt anyone else.

Unfortunately she was unable to tell because the place was in utter pandemonium, with people running in every direction and the flickering light of the movie only added to the confusion.

Nat knelt down beside her.

“You okay?” she asked.

“I’ll be fine.”

Natasha pointed to her yellow t-shirt, which was completely stained red now.

“I think I might have an inkling why vamps wear black,” was all Nina said.

“Do you need a medic or anything?” The pointedly raised eyebrow on ‘anything’ told Nina that she meant blood.

“I’m fine, nearly healed already, and I can last until we get back to the tower.”

“Good.” Natasha rolled the gunman onto his front and secured his wrists together with a zip tie.

“Do you always bring handcuffs to the movies?”

Natasha shrugged as if to say, ‘You never know when you’re going to need them.’

Blessed relief came then as the movie was stopped and Nina visibly deflated.

“Hey,” Nat reached out and touched her arm. “You okay?”

“I hate to have to tell you this because you’ve been a really good friend to me when I haven’t done anything to deserve it but…” her expression became pained. “I really hate going to the movies.”

“What?”

“The noise is so loud that it hurts my ears.”

Nat looked guilty. “I’m sorry, I thought I was helping you.”

Just then the police burst into the theatre, guns raised, and ordered everyone to put their hands up. Both women obeyed, realising that they would be considered suspects until the police could see for themselves that they were innocent.

“You were. You are!” Nina assured Nat, hardly giving the police a second look as they stood up and backed away.

One of the officers approached the gunman and the other spoke into his radio. “We need medics in screen three ASAP!”

“You were my first friend besides Loki,” Nina continued, oblivious to the activity, around her “and I love you for everything you’ve done, which is why I didn’t want to hurt your feelings and tell you the truth.”

Both girls fell into an embrace.

“I feel even worse to know you’ve been in pain,” Nat said. “Don’t ever lie to me about something like that again.”

“Promise,” Nina assured her as she pulled away.

“HANDS IN THE AIR!”

They turned to a rather irate police officer, who didn’t seem to appreciate their hugging in the middle of his crime scene.

“You’re welcome,” Nat said, her tone caustic as she nodded to the gunman, who was now being placed in real handcuffs. “Pardon us for bonding after stopping a gunman.”

“Miss? Miss, are you hurt?” the second, calmer officer asked Nina.

“I was shot but I’m okay,” Nina replied, which just confused everyone.

“Okay, well I just have to pat you down, then we can get you seen by a medic, all right?”

“Honestly, I’m fine, but feel free to make sure we aren’t armed.”

“I’m armed,” Natasha noted, then proceeded to get firearms and knives out of places Nina wouldn’t have dreamed she could store them, before finally agreeing to be patted down.

Things became chaotic for a while, with the police wondering whose blood Nina was covered in, then some paramedics fascinated by her ability to heal, while some officers were panicked by the inhuman ability.

They were escorted to separate rooms to be questioned, both unable to speak to each other or anyone else. Even the police officer guarding the door wouldn’t speak to Nina and she began to feel rather lonely.

Natasha explained to anyone who would listen that Nina was with the Avengers, which eventually reached the ears of someone high enough up the chain of command that no further explanations were necessary.

The captain was just offering Nina his coat to wear, since the press were outside and her clothes were covered in blood, which would surely lead to some awkward questions, when Loki barrelled into the room and swept her into his arms.

Nina clung to him and finally began to cry as she allowed the emotions of the evening to overwhelm her.

“You did wonderfully, darling, you saved a lot of lives tonight,” he assured her, soothing her and pressing kisses onto her hair until she had calmed down.

“Can we go home now?” Nina asked.

“Of course. Here.” He slipped his black coat off and put it on her, doing up the front, then he led her out into the hallway. Nat, Tony, Clint and Bruce were waiting there.

“You okay?” Tony asked her.

She nodded and found a smile for them.

“Great, well let’s get you both home.”

Nina pressed her face into Loki’s chest and allowed him to guide her from the building. The captain was giving a statement to the press but she could hear some people shouting questions at the Avengers, asking what had happened, so Nina didn’t dare look up until they were in the car, which had tinted windows.

Once they had driven away, Loki asked for a flask, which Bruce passed back from the front seat.

“Here,” he handed it to Nina, who could already tell it was blood.

She opened it, prepared to drink cold blood, but surprisingly found it warm.

“It plugs into the cigarette lighter and keeps beverages warm,” Loki explained. “Stark’s idea.”

She smiled, thanked them, and downed the contents. It was only a pint, but now she was well fed, a little extra was all she needed to help her heal.

Once home, Nina stripped out of her clothes and showered the blood away, then she joined Loki in their living room. He had the news on which seemed to be wall to wall coverage of the thwarted shooting.

Loki patted his lap and Nina went to him, lying along the sofa and resting her head on Loki’s thigh. He idly stroked her hair while she watched the news.

“I’m afraid news of you has leaked out,” Loki explained. “No one knows who or what you are, but you should be aware, people are asking questions. For now, Stark’s people are putting out the statement that you are a friend of Thor and mine from Nifelheim, which explains your powers. There are no pictures of you as yet, but it might not be long before your image is public.”

Nina sighed, knowing it was inevitable now, but she couldn’t let innocent people die just because she wanted to stay anonymous. Besides, the other Avengers faced such problems and just because she had her own issues, Nina knew she wasn’t miraculously immune from having their troubles too.

“Are you okay?” Loki asked.

“I think so. I don’t exactly go out much in the day anyway. I’m sorry if I worried you,” she told him.

“You’re fine, that’s all that counts,” he assured her, his voice rich with warm emotion. “I’m so proud of you.”

Nina just sat there quietly, processing everything. Usually it was her worrying about Loki’s safety, not the other way around, and she felt bad if she had worried him.

But there was a part of her, a part that was growing with each hour of distance she had from the events, which felt happy.

She had saved lives; certainly tens, possibly hundreds. She, the evil, blood sucking, murderous henchman for Hydra.

She felt pretty good about that.

***

Pete Valentine answered his phone to a barrage of shouting. His boss didn’t have a quiet setting.

“Have you seen last night’s news?”

“Yes, Sir.” Valentine answered.

“I’m pretty sure that CCTV footage they released is of one of ours.”

“A Hydra agent?”

“Exactly. I saw her a lot when I used to do business with a man called Phillips.”

“Okay, what would you like me to do?”

“Phillips kept her as a pet, said she was an experiment gone wrong but he kept her as eye candy, but if those reports are right, she’s more than just a pretty pet. I want to know who she is, why she is that way, how Phillips kept her obedient for so long, and how we let her get away!”

“She probably changed sides when Hydra fell.”

“HYDRA DID NOT FALL!”

“N- no sir.”

“Good. With people like her, we can be great again so you get on this right now. I want your report tomorrow.”

“So soon?”

“If you’re not up to it, I can find someone else, Valentine.” The threat was obvious.

“No Sir, I’ll get right on it.”

His boss hung up.

Peter turned to his computer and quickly found the CCTV footage, of a blonde woman entering the movie theatre with the operative known as Black Widow. He sent the image to his phone, then left his house and headed for the Phillips estate.

Both Phillips senior and junior kept meticulous records on their personnel, as well as politicians, law enforcement and judges that they might need to blackmail, so he was hopeful that everything he needed would still be stored there. If not he would have to break into SHIELD and retrieve the data, which would be a much more complicated process.

***

As soon as she had finished her morning routine, Nina made her way to Tony’s lab, reasonably sure that she’d find Loki with Stark. They might seem like an odd pairing, but it seemed that Loki was keen to master what he called mortal magic, or physics to us humans. He was a quick study and now often worked with both Tony and Bruce on various projects.

“Loki!” she called, jogging up to him.

“Are you alright?” he sounded concerned.

“I’m okay, thanks,” she reassured him.

“What brings you here,” he asked, putting an arm around her shoulders and kissing her forehead.

“I forgot to tell you, I told her.”

“Told…” it took a moment for the penny to drop. “You told Romanoff you don’t enjoy going to a movie theatre?”

“Yes!” she grinned.

“And how do you feel?” he asked.

“It was hard, she looked hurt and I felt really bad but I have to say, I feel so relieved!”

“More relieved that guilty?”

She nodded, and Loki swept her up into a hug, picking her up off the floor as he swung them round.

“This is real progress,” he said as he set her back on her feet. “We must celebrate, so what would you like to do?”

Nina hadn’t thought about that. Eating out was pointless, the movies were painful. What other social activities did people engage in? In her day they went to dances, but dance clubs today were vastly different to the places she enjoyed.

“I don’t know,” she admitted.

Loki knew that the process of her overcoming her past was incremental, so he didn’t press for an answer.

“Then why don’t you let me surprise you?” he suggested.

Nina bit her lip. She wasn’t a very big fan of surprises but he hoped that in this case, she would trust him.

“You don’t have to say yes, I can tell you my idea if you prefer.”

That seemed to decide it for her.

“No. Just tell me when and where.”

“Where is our apartment, when is 7pm, and dress nicely, ball gown or cocktail dress.”

She looked curious about the attire but not unhappy. Stark threw black tie parties every three to four months, and they’d been invited to other formal events, so she had a few dresses to choose from.

They both liked such events as they allowed for dancing without the horrendous music of the clubbing scene.

Loki knew she probably expected him to be taking her to something similar, but he had something better in mind. He had thought of this the very first time Nina confided that she hated going to the movies but she begged him not to get involved or say anything, so he bit his tongue and bided his time until she plucked up the courage on her own.

When Nina left, Loki made his way to the rear of the workshop, where Tony was running computer models of a new stabiliser.

“Someone sounded happy,” Stark said, not looking away from the screen.

“Indeed. I believe Nina is making excellent progress in her therapy.”

“Well, kudos to you for hanging in there. Most guys would have given up and moved on a long time ago.”

“Stark, how many times do I have to tell you, we’re not romantic. Nina is like a sister to me… _and_ Thor.” He didn’t know why he added that last bit, only that he felt it necessary.

“Yeah, well all I know if that if I looked at my sister the way you look at her, the cops would be coming to arrest me.”

Loki heaved a heavy sigh.

“Okay,” Tony paused his program and turned to his friend. “So what can I do for you?”

“You once spoke of a concierge who could procure virtually anything, especially theatre tickets. I wondered if I could contact him.”

“It’s a her, but sure thing. What tickets are you after?”

“I was going to ask your advice about that, actually. I thought a musical because Nina seems to like music, I often come home to find she’s been playing it. Les Misérables is highly lauded and supposed to be excellent, but I gather it’s also sad, and I’m not sure if I should upset her. The Lion King seems popular, but I gather it’s based on a children’s film, which might not be ideal. The Phantom of the Opera is long running, but I know little about it and-”

“Whoa,” Tony held his hands up, worried he was about to receive a commentary on every musical currently playing. “I know what you have to see, it’ll cost you a pretty penny but it’s not like I don’t pay you well.”

Tony found a slip of paper and wrote the telephone number down, then handed it to Loki.

“Tell her Tony Stark gave you her number.”

“And the play I’m supposed to ask for?”

“That would be Wicked.” Tony answered with a smug smile.

“It doesn’t exactly sound very affirming.”

“Trust me, it is. Nina will get a lot from it.”

“All right,” Loki trusted Tony’s judgement… mostly. “Thank you for your help.”

“My pleasure.” Tony watched as Loki walked away. “And if he thinks of her like a sister, Jarvis is my boyfriend.”

 _‘Thank you for the compliment, Sir, but I’m afraid you’re not my type.’_ Jarvis quipped.

***

The Phillips estate no longer housed the personnel files that Valentine had been hoping for, so he knew he had to think quickly, or risk being replaced.

He began by hacking into SHIELD’s computers, hoping to find out where the information obtained from Phillips had been sent.

***

As they stepped out of the town car in front of the theatre, Nina’s eyes lit up.

“The theatre?” she asked.

“I thought that without the sounds being artificially enhanced, you might enjoy this more than a movie theatre.”

“This is so thoughtful.” She turned to him, a smile on her lips and tears shining in her eyes.

Their gazes locked and for a moment, everything around them seemed to slow to a stop.

Nina became aware of a fluttering sensation in her stomach, something she hadn’t felt since she was human. Unaware of her actions, she leaned into Loki.

Loki had felt inordinately proud of himself thanks to her reaction and now, trapped by her gaze, he felt one of the strongest pulls of lust that he had ever experienced.

As much as it pained him to admit it, perhaps Stark was right, and he didn’t view Nina as a sister.

He found himself moving closer, lowering his head slightly but before their lips could touch, someone knocked into Nina, pushing her into Loki.

He deftly caught her but the moment was gone. He continued to hold her in his arms though, stretching the awkwardness out in the hopes that their former moment could be recaptured, but it wasn’t to be.

“Sorry, Ma’am, didn’t see you there.”

Nina looked to the man in question and smiled as Loki righted her.

“No harm, no foul,” she assured the stranger.

Loki cleared his throat and offered Nina his arm.

“Shall we.”

She took it and allowed him to escort her inside, but she couldn’t help but wonder what had nearly happened.

This morning she would have sworn blind that Loki had no romantic feelings for her but now, after that look, perhaps she was wrong.

Which begged two very important questions.

Number one, did she feel the same?

Number two, could she really have a relationship, especially with all the expected… activities that accompanied such unions?

***

“You seem very pensive today,” Dr. Guyde noted as Nina sat down. “I thought things were going well.”

“They were. They are.”

“But?”

“Loki took me to see a musical last night. Wicked.”

“That sounds nice.”

“It was nice. Maybe too nice.” Nina sipped her blood.

“Too nice as in…?”

“As in, making me want something I can't have.”

“What can't you have?”

“A relationship.”

“You already have relationships,” Dr. Guyde pointed out. “Friendships are a type of relationship, and so are our sessions.”

“That’s not the same.”

“You believe you cannot have romantic love? You are undeserving of it?”

“No. No, I want it very much, but… not all of it.”

“Do you mean sex?”

Nina blushed but nodded.

“What is your aversion to it?”

Nina glared at her. “You know.”

“I know what happened to you, Nina, but I don’t know how that trauma is affecting you unless you tell me. Do you suffer flashbacks, or panic attacks, or perhaps you have come to relate sex to something nasty, something people use to hurt you?”

“I don’t know,” Nina admitted. “But just the thought of it fills me with dread.”

“Can you describe the feeling for me?”

“I feel sick, my heart races, there’s a tightness in my chest and the longer I think about it, the worse it gets.”

“That sounds very much like the beginnings of a panic attack. What do you do when this feeling comes over you?”

“Sometimes, if I’m alone, I try and tough it out but mostly, I just distract myself, get up, read a book, play chess with Bruce or Jarvis, anything that keeps my thoughts occupied.”

“Since your rescue, have you tried to have sex with anyone?”

Nina shook her head.

“So it’s just the feeling you get when you think about it that puts you off?”

Her patient nodded.

“Have you kissed anyone?”

“Loki has kissed me a few times, just platonically.”

“And how does that feel?”

A smile crept onto Nina’s lips. “It feels like heaven. Even just being held by him, I feel safe and cared for.”

“You must trust him very much.”

“I’d trust him with my life,” she answered defensively, since she had been warned to keep her distance from him many times.

“That’s good. If it’s alright with you, I’m going to schedule a meeting with Loki and see how he feels about you, then perhaps I can find a way forward for you both.” Dr Guyde knew that a relationship with someone like Nina could be fraught with problems, not to mention that an outright rejection could crush her progress. She hoped that by being the go between, she could ease some of Nina’s fears.

“Is that allowed?” Nina asked. “Doesn’t it break ethical rules?”

“Only if I share information without permission but in couples counselling, both parties often see their therapist alone as well as together and if you and Loki do start a relationship, I’d like you both to feel comfortable talking to me, so I can best help you through the transition.”

“What will you tell him?” Nina asked.

“Nothing without your permission. If I promise to be discreet, will you let me tell him what we’ve discussed so far in today’s session?”

Nina didn’t reply but began to scrape the polish off one of her newly shellacked nails with her teeth.

Her nails were too strong to bite now, but she could scrape polish off, which was almost as rewarding.

The silence stretched out and it became clear that if she did speak, Nina was going to say no. Given her recent project, of saying no to things she didn’t want to do, the doctor would hardly turn around and override Nina’s wishes.

“You’re making marvellous strides, Nina, and I don’t want to push you too quickly, so why don’t we just leave it that you’ll think about my suggestion, and we’ll move on for now.

Nina nodded and literally deflated in relief.

“So, why don’t you tell me about the show last night, Wicked, you said, yes?”

“Oh, I loved it,” Nina began.

Perhaps she had related to the wicked witch and her struggle to overcome people’s negative opinion of her and become her own person. Dr. Guyde only wished that it was as easy to overcome such obstacles in reality.

***

Pete Valentine opened the case before him and for the tenth or more time, he reviewed Nina Solas’ file. His boss would arrive any moment and he wanted to make sure he had everything memorised.

Born in 1922, Nina had been only 17 when war broke out. Her father and two brothers enlisted and since she couldn’t fight, Nina trained to be a nurse. She showed great aptitude for it and thanks to her bravery during the London air raids, she was soon sent overseas, to tend the men at the front line.

One brother died early on, her father two years later. 18 months after that, her other brother went missing and was never found; he was presumed dead.

Her service record was exemplary but not very interesting.

While stationed on the France/Germany border, she met an officer named James. They were both infatuated and making plans for life when they got home. He proposed after eight weeks, although he didn’t have a ring.

James was sent back to England on leave and he promised to see about getting a ring and a marriage licence, and she kissed him a loving goodbye at the railway station, promising that she would keep herself safe, and count the minutes until he returned.

As her battalion advanced into Germany, the mood was buoyed as the tide finally seemed to be turning against the Germans. Then things became weird.

Strange weapons with great beams of light that glowed an unholy teal shade, people disintegrating, soldiers wearing odd uniforms, like the SS but not quite.

It was pandemonium, everyone was shouting, no one knew what was happening. Nina went out onto the battlefield to try and treat some of the wounded, or drag them out of the way. Instead of fighting though, people were being taken, dragged away, and she became one of them.

The last thing she remembered was a sharp pain to her head and when she awoke, she was in a cell.

That was September 1945, when she was 23 years old.

In the beginning she probably held out hope that once the war ended, she would be freed, but her captors made it clear that the Nazi Party had just been a convenient organisation that funded their research for a time.

Her captors were Hydra, not the SS. She didn’t believe them but sometimes they had newspapers in English and French. She wasn’t given any to read but even she could make out the headlines, and sometimes they would line the food trays with newspaper, and although her German was rudimentary at best, she would try to read them. She knew enough to see for herself that the war had ended, but she was never sent home.

She was moved three times before she ended up in America, or at least somewhere that her captors had American accents. No one ever told her where she was going or why.

It took two and a half years before one of their experiments on her succeeded and in 1948, just ten days after her 26th birthday, she became something else.

The virus she was injected with came from the mummified remains of something that was clearly not human, which was found in the Alps, on the Austrian–Italian border.

18 hours later Nina claimed her first victims, killing the three men who were ‘testing’ her.

The experiments hadn’t really been expected to succeed, they were more for research purposes, an alternative to the serum which created the Red Skull and Captain America. The success with Nina excited scientists because she survived the virus and changes, not because of her new abilities.

They didn’t care about her.

Using stringent safety procedures, psychology and the false promise of a cure to control her, they took numerous samples for the scientists, but they were never able to replicate the experiment.

Nina was unique and after three years, the project was cancelled.

Nina would have been killed. She was shot six times with a Browning. Somehow she survived. She was shot again, this time with 20 bullets. She survived. It seemed that her cranium (and the rest of her bones) were now tough enough to deflect bullets, and damage to her soft tissues quickly healed, as good as new.

They tried shooting her in the spine but even damage to her spinal cord healed within minutes.

She essentially couldn’t be killed, which left them with a problem, how to get rid of her. Before a solution could be found, the agent in charge, Bradford Phillips, decided to keep her. When his son, Preston Phillips took over the operation, he took control of Nina, until Loki delivered a near killing blow to the organisation by working as a double agent for SHIELD.

It had been assumed that Nina had been killed during one of the raids although to be honest, she wasn’t important enough for anyone to check up on.

It was unconfirmed but after studying the TV footage of the Avengers leaving the theatre, Pete was

90% certain that the woman under Loki’s arm, the one wearing the coat he had entered with, was Nina.

Perhaps Loki had developed feelings for the creature and when SHIELD came, he had rescued her. Pete couldn’t blame the trickster for falling for the vampire, to be honest he was rather becoming rather attached to her himself, and given how terribly she had been treated by Hydra, he was rather pleased that she had escaped, finally.

Of course, having empathy for her wouldn’t stop him from doing his job.

“Mr. Valentine.” He looked up to see his boss entering the room, fifteen minutes late, as usual. Well, he was almost single handedly running what remained if Hydra.

“Sir.” Pete got to his feet. “If you’ll take a seat, I believe I’ve learned everything there is to know about Miss Nina Solas.”

 


	5. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good things are happening to Nina but change can be frightening, even for the bravest of us.

**Chapter Four**

Over the next week Nina found herself repeating that moment in front of the theatre with Loki, the urge to kiss him growing a little stronger each time.

She wanted to kiss him so badly sometimes, but she was terrified of what it would do to her equilibrium.

In some ways her life was easier when she was owned by Hydra, she just had to do as she was told. This being autonomous business was difficult.

But if she was honest, as frightening as life could be at times, she was happier now than she had been since Hydra first kidnapped her. That was what gave her pause when it came to Loki, what if she ruined part of that happiness?

Loki was also perplexed by recent developments with Nina, and just as unsure how to proceed.

He was willing to admit to himself that he wanted her, but he had never encountered anyone so damaged before, and the thought that he might cause her further damage was untenable.

Which left him in the uncomfortable situation of wanting Nina so badly at times that he ached, and yet when he had almost given in and kissed her, he had all but run away from her, worried that he might do something wrong, but surely hurting her by stopping so abruptly.

He did not like feeling this way.

If he still had access to his magic, he would suggest using spells to help her, things to keep her calm and peaceful, but that bastard Odin still kept his powers repressed.

“You look like you’re about ready to kill something,” Thor noted as he came and sat next to his brother.

Loki was spending much more time in the communal areas of the tower these days, almost afraid to be alone with Nina because he almost constantly found himself wanting her these days.

“I am,” Loki confessed.

“Anyone in particular?”

“Your father is presently top of the list.”

“Aah, what has he done now?”

“Nothing new, but I’ve been here over two years now and my magic is still bound.”

“Nonetheless, you have accomplished much here.”

“Not enough to earn my natural abilities back.”

“Have patience, Loki. In time everything will right itself.”

“You have no idea, do you?” Loki rolled his eyes.

“Idea of what?”

“Remember when you were sent here, stripped of your powers and abilities?”

“Of course I remember, but I soon adapted.”

“Of course you did,” Loki muttered. “But consider if you had remained here and one day, you discovered Jane trapped under a car. Once you could have easily lifted it off and helped her but now, all you can do is sit by, hold her hand and wait for other people to help her. Wouldn’t you lament what the Allfather took from you?”

“So this is about Nina?”

Loki didn’t reply.

“You’re right, Loki, and I do understand how you feel.” He remembered his inability to protect people, but especially his friends, when Loki sent the destroyer to Earth. He didn’t mention that though, because his brother was not in the mood to be reasonable, and Thor didn’t want to risk ruining the somewhat tenuous relationship they had rebuilt.

“But perhaps the point of binding your powers was to help you find other ways to solve problems.”

“Human ways?” Loki scoffed.

“Humans have been doing very well for themselves for centuries and as sorry as I am to say it, Nina is not unique.”

“I’ve never met a vampire, have you?” Loki demanded.

“Her abilities are unique, yes, but her experiences are sadly not.”

Loki’s eyes narrowed. Thor was right, for once. Loki didn’t claim to know much of human society or history, but he knew enough to know that Nina wasn’t alone in being badly abused. Perhaps he should ask her psychologist for advice.

***

Nina was playing chess with Bruce when Director Coulson entered the room, and she knew that meant he had a job for the avengers.

She smiled ruefully at Bruce. “I guess we’ll finish that later?”

“Sure thing.”

Nina put the taken pieces in the box as the director approached.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be out of your hair in a second,” she assured him. “Do you want me to send Loki down?”

“Actually, Miss Solas, it’s you I’d like to speak with.”

“Oh…”

“Do you want privacy?” Bruce asked Phil.

“No need, unless Miss Solas wants to talk privately.”

“No, I’m good here.”

“Good. We’re all aware of what you did the other night and we’re impressed. You took the initiative and saved probably dozens of lives.”

“Thank you.”

“To be quite frank, Miss Solas-”

“Call me Nina, please.”

“All right, Nina. To be frank, we’ve seen your potential since day one but in light of your traumas, we thought it best not to put any additional pressures on you. But we’ve been watching, especially when you train with the others. You’re good, careful, and I think you could be a real asset to the team.”

Nina didn’t know what to say to that.

“You don’t need to give me an answer now,” Phil went on. “You don’t need to give me an answer at all, I just want you to think it over and the next time we have an incident we need help with, well, it’s your choice to join in or not.”

“Okay…”

“Great,” Phil nodded. “Enjoy the rest of your game.”

Nina watched him leave with mixed feelings. On the one hand, it was exceptionally flattering but on the other hand, incredibly daunting.

“That’s quite an offer,” Bruce observed.

“Yeah.” She hadn’t taken her eyes off the door.

Bruce stared at the chessboard, not assuming the game would continue but worried that Nina might feel overwhelmed and need an ear.

“You know, change doesn’t have to be a bad thing,” he eventually spoke up.

She briefly met his eye, then lowered her gaze to the board. It was her turn but she wasn’t thinking about strategy.

“No? The biggest changes in my life were when war broke out, and that killed my entire family. The next was getting kidnapped, and look how that turned out.”

“You’re forgetting about Loki. The change he’s wrought on your life has all been positive hasn’t it?”

“So far,” she hedged.

Silence reigned for a few minutes and Nina moved a chess piece, but it was more of a reflex that a well-planned course of action.

“You know, the other night, life could have changed horribly for any number of people in that movie theatre. Thanks to you, it didn’t.”

Nina smiled slightly, pride in her actions overcoming her fear for a moment. “I didn’t think, I just acted.”

“Sometimes it’s easier that way,” he agreed. “But wouldn’t you rather fight alongside Loki, than wait here, wondering if he’s okay?”

“What if having me there puts him in danger?”

“What if not having you there puts him in danger?” Bruce countered. Nina didn’t reply and he made his next chess move before asking, “Things are also changing between you and Loki, aren’t they?”

“How did you know?” she asked folding her arms across her breasts.

“We can feel it. The tension between you is palpable these days.”

Nina made a hasty move and Bruce quickly countered and took her rook.

“What frightens you about a relationship with Loki?”

“Nothing… Everything.”

“Do you trust him?”

She nodded silently.

“How much?”

She looked up in confusion.

“Well, do you trust him not to forget to get chips at the store, or to protect you with his life?”

“The latter, probably.”

“So you don’t think he’d do anything to hurt you?”

“No, not intentionally.”

“So what’s the problem?”

A tear slipped from Nina’s right eye as she answered, “Me.”

“You’re the problem?” Bruce sounded surprised by her answer.

“I’m broken. I don’t know if I can ever give him what he wants.”

“You’re not broken, Nina. You’re damaged. We’re all damaged to some degree, it’s what makes us human, it’s what makes us compassionate and empathetic. We may not have walked a mile in someone else’s shoes, but our own trials, our own hurts, they allow us to have compassion for the plights of others.”

She’d never considered that there might be an upside to what she had endured but he was right, she could use her past to help others.

“As for being broken,” Bruce continued. “You’ve endured more in your life that anyone I’ve ever met, read about or heard about, and you’re still not only standing, you’re still you. That kind of strength is rare and if I’m honest, I think that fact that you’re still standing is amazing. Someone like you isn’t going to let a few worries keep her from helping people, or let a few setbacks keep her from the man she loves.”

Nina met his gaze, silent tears still falling.

“You really think I can do all this?”

“I know you can.”

***

With Nina’s testing notes in the hands of one of the best molecular biology labs in the States, Pete Valentine’s new task was to track down the alien remains that had been used to change Nina.

This time they were hoping to clone an alien rather than alter a human. The thinking was that the original alien was far taller and stronger than humans, and if raised from infancy could be turned into good little soldiers. It might take time but Hydra was nothing if not patient.

***

Her burgeoning attraction to Loki had been building all week and, perhaps buoyed by her success at the movie theatre, for Nina was determined to do something about it.

“I want a relationship with Loki,” she told Dr Guyde at her next session, before either of them had even taken a seat.

“You sound determined,” Dr Guyde noted, sitting and gesturing for Nina to do the same.

“I am.”

“All right. Have you spoken to Loki about this?”

Nina shook her head.

“May I ask, why?”

“Because back when I first met him, I threw myself at him… and he rejected me.”

“He did?” She sounded surprised to hear that.

“He said he wanted me, but only if I wanted him, and he could tell if I was lying.”

“Were you lying?”

“I don’t know.” She scraped at her nail polish as she thought. “I actually felt hurt that he didn’t want me in that way, everyone else did, and sometimes they were nice to me after.”

“So sex was the only time you got affection?”

“Not affection, they didn’t cuddle or anything, but they’d tell me how good I was. Sometimes they’d thank me.”

“So why did you want to sleep with Loki?”

“Because he was kind to me, and I wanted to thank him.”

“And you felt like sex was the only thing you had to offer in thanks?”

Nina nodded.

“So were you sexually attracted to Loki when you met him?”

“I thought he was handsome. The most handsome man I’d ever met, and I thought that was attraction.”

“But you are sexually attracted to him now?” the doctor asked.

Nina nodded. “At the theatre he nearly kissed me, and not like a chaste one, I saw desire in his eyes, and for the first time since I was changed, I felt it too.”

“So you felt desire for someone before you were changed?”

“I was engaged. I was kidnapped while he was on leave. I never saw him again.”

“And did you consummate your relationship?”

“Yes.” Nina blushed.

“So you have had sex without coercion?”

“Yes.”

And since you left Hydra, have you had relations with anyone?”

Nina shook her head, ‘no’.

“So what worries you about a physical relationship with Loki?”

“Nothing, exactly it’s… it’s more like every time I think of sex, this cold feeling of dread comes over me. I think having a little distance from what happened somehow makes it worse.”

“I think perhaps that while you were in that situation, you coped in the only way you could, by repressing your emotions. Now you have your freedom, and those uncomfortable emotions are surfacing.”

“Maybe,” Nina nodded slowly. “But that doesn’t help me with Loki. I don’t even know why this is happening now, why not before, when sex was just sex.”

“I think perhaps your emerging attraction to Loki had to do with your other emotions uncoiling. You’re feeling more, both negative and positive emotions.”

“So the reason I want him is the same reason I can't imagine having sex with him?”

“It’s the reason you’re worried,” Dr Guyde rephrased. “As for having a sexual relationship with Loki, I have every reason to believe that is not only possible, but can be enjoyable.”

“How?”

“Given what you’ve told me, I think touch therapy is our best option. You and Loki will engage in a series of exercises with very strict boundaries and as you become more comfortable with him, the touching will grow progressively more intimate.”

“But that will just make me think of sex.”

“I don’t think so, because sex is actually banned. The therapy isn’t about intercourse or climax, it’s about establishing intimacy and trust. With sex not a part of the picture, panic attacks should be avoided or mild. Don’t think you’ve failed if you do have a panic attack or a flashback or anything else, just try to remember, this is about touching and loving each other and that is the only goal.”

“For now,” Nina added.

“Perhaps, but this therapy can take weeks or it can take years, there is no time limit on it. We move at the speed you’re comfortable at.”

“Years? Really?”

“It’s unlikely to take years,” she assured Nina. “But we move forward at your pace. If we rush things, then that can actually set us back, so if we do this, I want you to metaphorically take a deep breath and try not to put any pressure on yourself. There’s nothing to prove and no record to beat.”

“Loki isn’t going to want to wait years,” Nina muttered.

“Well, before we go any further, I should tell you that Loki spoke to me three days ago, expressing his desire to take things further with you. I didn’t tell him anything about our sessions, but I did outline possible therapies, including touch therapy. Before we begin I’ll need to see you both, because you both need counselling through the techniques.

“He came to see you?” Nina looked remarkably touched.

“He did.”

“What did he say?”

“Since he didn’t come to see me as a patient, I can tell you. He told me that he wanted a relationship with you but he didn’t want to put any pressure on you, so he came to ask my advice. I told him that I thought he should wait for you to suggest a relationship, then I explained the possible courses of action if this was something you both wanted.”

“That’s so considerate.”

“If you hadn’t brought it up, I would have asked about things with Loki today.”

“Okay, so when can we start?”

“We can start today, if you’d like. After our session is up, I can ask Loki down here and we can talk through the therapy and the first step.”

Nina took a deep breath.

“Only if you want to, Nina, this moves at your pace, even just starting it.”

“No, call him. I’m nervous but also, I’m excited. I want this.”

“Good.” Dr Guyde smiled.

***

After a week of legwork, Valentine discovered that the Alien remains were last recorded at a Hydra research base in Canada. It had been abandoned in the late 60s and as far as he could tell, being defunct, SHIELD had never known of it.

Of course, that didn’t mean the specimens were still there and if they were, the DNA still viable; but the facility was powered by a nuclear reactor so if luck was with him, he was a short plane ride away from getting his hands on alien DNA, and maybe weeks or less away from cloning the cells.

As the private aeroplane glided through the sky, he wondered how long aliens took to reach adulthood, and how long it would be before he had himself an army.

Valentine hadn’t joined Hydra for the promotion opportunities after all, he had joined for the power, and heading this project was his ticket to power.


	6. Chapter Five

**Chapter Five**

Nina straddled Loki’s hips and looked down at the planes of his back. There was a towel under him and his arms were resting under his head, which was turned to the side, eyes closed, his dark lashes casting shadows over his cheek.

He adjusted his position slightly, and she watched the play of light over the muscles in his shoulders.

“As much as being ogled is good for my ego, I believe you’re supposed to be massaging me. And don’t think I’ll leave without getting my money’s worth.”

Nina smiled and reached for the oil.

This was Dr Guyde’s suggestion, for Nina to get used to touch without sex being involved. The rules for this stage were that they kept their undergarments on and if either felt uncomfortable, they stopped immediately.

They had already done a week of touching over their clothes, but that wasn’t too different from how Loki and Nina usually were with each other.

Loki offered to massage Nina first but she felt more in control going first.

She was actually quite looking forward to this.

Dr Guyde had given them a leaflet with some basic massage techniques and although she’d read it a dozen times, she was still hesitant. She hadn’t voluntarily touched someone like this since her nursing days.

“Take a deep breath and relax,” Loki mumbled. “I don’t bite… unless you ask. If you ask very nicely, I might even spank, although I can think of far better used for my hands.”

He had an uncanny way of reading her, even with his eyes quite literally closed, and diffusing the situation.

Having rubbed most of the oil into her own hands, she reapplied some, took a deep breath, then she leaned forward and placed her hands on Loki’s shoulders.

He was slightly cooler to the touch than human men, but she was used to that from sleeping in his arms so often, and her own body ran five degrees cooler than it used to as well.

She gently kneaded his muscles, making him groan slightly at times. The first time she thought she’d hurt him and stopped, but now she realised he was enjoying her ministrations, and she began to relish those little noises.

She worked methodically, across his shoulders, up the neck, down the spine, then back up and to the shoulders again.

It took her about half an hour in all and Loki was practically purring by the time she was finished and he grumbled in protest as she climbed off.

He rolled onto his side and propped his head up on his hand.

“Are you really going to make me wait until tomorrow to return the favour?” he asked, pouting.

“Yes. I want to savour this, not barge through it like a bulldozer.”

He grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him.

“Fine, then I demand a kiss.”

“Oh, you demand, do you?”

“Yes. If you require me to be patient, I require a kiss.”

She sat down and pushed him onto his back. He closed his eyes in anticipation and she slowly leaned down over him, then pressed a chaste kiss to his lips.

“You call that a kiss?” he asked, keeping his eyes closed.

“You didn’t specify the kind of kiss, just a kiss.”

“I’m a very demanding God, you know.”

She did know, she’d glimpsed his erection as he turned onto his back but if Loki wasn’t going to make a big deal about it, she wasn’t either.

Had his eyes been open, or if he moved towards her, or tried to pull her towards him, his words might frighten her, but he laid perfectly still, a tiny smirk on his lips, leaving the decision to kiss him or not completely in her hands.

This time she lay down, her body half on, half off his, and kissed him properly.

She expected it to be quick, shy, and tentative, but it felt so natural that she quickly overcame her inhibitions. His arms encircled her waist and she shivered as his fingertips glided over her skin.

It occurred to her that this was so different from the men at Phillips- and she froze, every muscle seeming to tense at the same time.

She silently berated herself, wondering why she had let such a stray thought ruin the mood. They had been having such a nice time.

“What’s this song?” Loki asked. They had put her iPod on in the background before starting, to make it less cold and clinical.

“Sorry?”

“This song, I often hear it in your playlist but I have no clue who the singer is.” His fingers stopped skimming over her skin and he was caressing her back in a soothing manner instead.

“It’s uh, Blueberry Hill by Fats Domino.”

“Unusual name, I’ll remember that.”

“That’s probably why he chose the name.” She smiled at him and Loki finally opened his eyes.

“I suppose I should wash the oil off,” he said with a sigh, still running his hands up and down her back.

“I think you can just towel it off. The oil is supposed to be good for the skin.”

“It doesn’t need any oil, I’m already perfect.”

She laughed and got off him, and his arms slipped away like they were water.

“Up,” she ordered, then she took the towel off the bed and although most of it was already gone, she rubbed over his back, more for one last look that because there was too much oil.

“Now,” he said, turning to her. “You’ve had your wicked way with me, so it’s my turn to decide what we do next.”

“You’re so bossy,” she teased.

“You love it, and you’ll love my plans.”

“Go on then.” She urged, eager to hear what he had planned, because the chances were very good that she _would_ enjoy it.

“We are going to crack open a bottle of Tony’s ridiculously expensive red wine, curl up on the sofa and while you watch a movie, I’m going to read a book and play with your hair.”

Yes, that did sound perfect.

Loki got up and tossed her dressing gown onto the bed, then pulled his own on and turned towards the door.

“Sir, yes Sir!” Nina teased, saluting his retreating back.

He turned back, his eyes narrowing. “Any more of that cheek and I shall eat the ridiculously large bar of English chocolate I got for you, all by myself.”

“Dairy Milk?”

“Yes, that’s the one.” He knew Nina hated American chocolate but she disliked putting people out to get imported chocolate (the version sold here wasn’t the same recipe apparently).

“You wouldn’t dare,” she challenged.

“Try me,” he smirked.

Nina considered it for all of a second.

“Fine, I’ll be nice,” she grinned, pulling her robe on and following him out of the bedroom.

Their apartment was subtly lit using recessed and uplighters to diffuse the light, and a dimmer switch so it could be adjusted for Nina’s comfort.

When the changes were first made, she had worried about Loki and his ability to read, until he explained  that Asgard was lit by flame torches at night and while not as good as hers, his vision was more than up to the task of reading in low light.

Once Nina was settled, he excused himself and went to the bathroom so he could finally relieve the throbbing erection that had pained him since he had undressed before their session.

He was enjoying their progress immensely, but it was leaving him almost constantly aroused. He’d need to buy shares in Kleenex if this kept up much longer.

***

Valentine was sweating as he looked at the phone but finally taking a deep breath, he picked it up and dialled his boss.

“What’s happening?”

 _‘Whatever happened to hello?’_ he wondered, but didn’t dare voice it.

“Uh, Sir, I’m sorry to report that the cloning isn’t going well.”

“Why not! It’s been six weeks since you set up that lab, what the hell have you been doing over there?”

“It’s because once the nucleus is injected into a donor embryo, the cell dies, Sir. We’ve been trying multiple donor cells, from all races of humans, virtually all mammals, even fish and frogs. Over a hundred failed attempts, Sir.”

“Are you telling me that this project is a bust?”

“Uh, no, no sir. The, uh, scientists have suggested that if we can get hold of the human test subject who was successfully paired with the alien DNA, her embryos might be more receptive to the alien nucleus. It’s also possible that by doing further tests on her, with modern technology, we might be able to discover why she was able to merge with the alien DNA while others weren’t.”

“Fine, you get her then, and don’t screw up!”

His boss hung up and Valentine glared down at is phone.

 _‘Bloody ignorant tosser! I haven’t screwed up once, not once! Fucking bastard!’_ he thought, only just resisting the urge to toss the phone across the room.

***

Nina was panting, so turned on by Loki caressing her breasts that she felt as horny as a teenager. She knew her panties were soaked and she was sorely tempted to just ask Loki to fuck her.

She understood his words back in the beginning now, she had to want him too, and by God did she ever want him right now.

His lips were lavishing attention on her neck but he slowly trailed a line of kisses down towards her breasts. Taking a nipple between his lips, he licked and sucked it to its maximum state of erection, then softly nibbled the sensitive bud.

She gasped and her hand reached for his hair, grabbing handful.

“Oh God, Loki, you’re driving me insane.”

He ceased his actions for a moment and looked up at her, a smug grin on his lips.

“That’s the general idea.”

“Mean bastard.”

His grin widened and he switched his attentions to her other breast.

Sensing he was going too far and turning her on too much, Loki slowed his actions then gently pulled away.

Nina never knew sex could be like this, and they hadn’t actually even had sex yet!

“All this build up,” she panted, “The payoff better be bloody good.”

Loki chuckled softly. “I’ll do my best.”

Nina turned on her side and touched his bicep, trailing her fingers over the planes of his arm. Loki had been the first recipient of the touching therapy this evening, and he was still sporting the massive erection from her ministrations.

“Do you want me to take care of that?” she asked, glancing to his boxers.

“Oh, darling, as tempting as that is, I must refuse for just a little while longer.

“But I know this is hard for you, I know how aroused you are, almost constantly. Let me help.”

Loki reached out and cupped her cheek. “No,” he whispered softly.

“I’m ready,” she insisted.

“I’m not.”

“Loki!” she whined.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Aside from your doctor, because you’d be doing something for me.” He didn’t add, _‘just like you were made to do things for them.’_

“So now you’re too proud?”

“No, but never again will you just have sex, darling. From this day forth, it will be a shared experience, mutually beneficial.”

They’d been going slowly enough that Nina hadn’t had many problems, but there were a couple of times when he noticed something was wrong with her while they touched; she was doing well but she wasn’t cured. She would probably never be completely cured, but he hoped that they could bottle her demons up, somewhere in the dark recesses of her mind, somewhere they couldn’t rear their ugly heads too often.

“You can make me come… if you want to,” Nina offered.

“No I can’t.” Loki rolled onto his back and groaned as he flung an arm over his eyes. “Well, all right, technically I can but I won’t. I want you so badly, it hurts, but I'm selfish and I want all of you, every part, and if I make a mistake and you get frightened, there might be parts of you I’ll never see. I won’t risk your recovery just because I want to ‘get my rocks off’, as you people say.”

“So what now?”

“I’d suggest very cold showers,” he teased.

“Together?” she asked eagerly.

“You’re incorrigible!” Loki laughed.

“I can't help it, you bring it out in me.”

“Then perhaps we should go to bed so we can sleep, perchance to dream of multiple orgasms.”

Nina laughed this time. “You have a very warped mind.”

“You know, if I still had my magic, we could share such dreams.”

“You could really do that” she asked.

“Mmm.”

Nina rested her head on his shoulder and draped one arm over his torso.

“What else could your magic do?”

“I don’t want to talk about that.”

She raised her head and gave I'm a questioning look.

“I don’t like to be reminded of what I’m missing,” he answered.

Nina was silent for a few moments, then she softly asked, “Why did you do it?”

She could almost literally see the shutters coming down.

“Please, I’m not judging. I know you’re a good man at heart. I know that like me, you must have had your reasons.”

Loki was silent for so long that Nina thought he wasn’t going to answer her, and eventually she lowered her head back to his shoulder. Her eyes were growing heavy by the time be began to speak.

“I went mad,” he said, his voice barely a whisper, but growing stronger as he spoke. “I was raised as an Aesir, Odin’s son, and the Jotun were our enemies. They were figures of fear for children, and hatred for adults. We were raised to think of them as monsters.”

Nina didn’t dare move for fear of stopping him. She hardly dared breathe.

“I always came second to Thor, always. I was always different, black haired, a magician, slight of build compared to other warriors. Thor and I were both told that we stood an equal chance of being king, the decision would be based on merit, but I always knew it was a lie. Odin’s smile was always just that bit brighter for Thor, his pride just that bit larger, and he had endless patience for Thor that was denied to me. Mostly I handled it well. I got my revenge on those who taunted me about my magic and… I got my revenge on Thor during his coronation by letting the Jotun in to disrupt proceedings.

“It worked, but I hadn’t counted on Thor wanting to ride into Jotunheim and take them on single-handedly, but as it turned out, being outnumbered a hundred to one in a fight was the least of my problems. That was the day when I learned that _I_ was a Jotun. They kept that information from me because they didn’t want me to feel inferior.” He gave a bitter laugh. “It turned out that they could make me feel inferior without knowing what I was. I felt betrayed.

“Thor was banished for breaking the treaty with Jotunheim, then Odin fell into the Odinsleep, and the crown I was never good enough for, fell to me. But that wasn’t enough, my friends wanted me to override Odin’s decree and bring Thor out of his banishment, and I knew that even if it was rightfully given to me, I would never naturally be enough for the Aesir. I had to do something spectacular to prove myself.

“So I contrived to restart war with the Jotun so I could kill the father who abandoned me, save Odin’s life, and wipe out the Jotun monsters. Of course Thor’s friends couldn’t accept that, They rode into Jotunhein at his side when he wanted to wipe them out, but when i wanted to do it, it was a heinous crime. They committed treason against Odin to bring Thor home, for it was his decree they broke, but they were never punished for it. So I tried to kill Thor but I failed. I failed in everything and I knew… In that moment I knew that I’d lost everything I ever held dear.

“At the end of the battle, I was clinging onto a staff, hanging over an abyss, and I just let go. I thought I’d die, be pulled into a sun or sucked into a black hole. Hell, worst case scenario I’d freeze to death, only I’d forgotten that I was Jotun, they’re ice monsters, so even the freezing vacuum of space couldn’t kill me. I replayed events, over and over until my sanity was severely compromised, and then one day, I landed.

Nina wanted to hug him, or press a kiss to his chest, but she was afraid it might stop his narrative.

“It was little more than a barren asteroid, floating through space, but it had atmosphere, I could breathe again, and then I met _him_. He called himself The Other and I told him my story. He was in the employ of Thanos, a Titan, an immortal even more powerful than Odin. They decided I could be useful but I still just wanted to die.

Loki sighed and Nina thought he sounded choked up.

“They had something called a mind stone, the gem from the staff I brought to earth, and they used it to interfere with my mind. I was forced to relive my brief reign a hundred times a day, each time slightly worse than before, until righteous anger replaced my melancholia. He used that anger to fashion me into a weapon, and he set me loose upon the earth to fetch another stone for him, what your people called the tesseract. We call it the space gem. And the rest, as they say, is history.”

“Do you still feel angry?” she asked.

“I do, but it’s more a simmering rage now.”

“Perhaps one day, you’ll lose the anger Thanos made you feel.”

“That faded relatively quickly. The anger I feel now is _my_ anger.” 

“You don’t think you can forgive?”

“I can forgive Thor… mostly. He’s lost that arrogance, he treats me with respect, even if I am a monster.”

“You’re not a monster.”

“That’s easy to say.”

Nina raised her head off his chest. “I know,” she said with sincerity. “But I’m trying to believe that it’s what I do, not what I am that matters.”

Loki found a faint smile for her.

“Where did you come from?” he asked. “I was prepared for a lot of things when I came back to earth, but not you. You… you caught me off guard.”

“Or maybe you saw something of yourself in me.”

“Our stories are vastly different.”

“Are they? I was turned into a monster, you discovered you were one. I was a tool for people who used me, you were a warrior for people who lied to you. We were both mind controlled or manipulated in some way. We both have deaths on our conscience. We both want something… else.”

Loki didn’t reply.

“What do you want, Loki?”

“Peace,” he answered.

“You love fighting.”

“Not that kind of peace,” he said softly. “But enough talking, we should sleep, darling,” he urged.

Nina laid her head down and pressed a kiss to his chest.

“Thank you for telling me.”

“I’ve never told anyone else.”

“No one?”

“Odin used magic to pull some of it out of my head, but I didn’t voluntarily tell him. I would never show weakness in front of him.”

“Oh, Loki.” The arm draped over him sought his hand, and she squeezed. “You aren’t weak. What you endured proves how strong you are. You’re still standing, after all that. Do you think Thor could endure any of what you have?”

“I’m not sure… but it’s quite enjoyable to imagine.”


	7. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six**

“Ever since the press furore began, Nina has been staying in the tower, Sir. Capturing her there is virtually impossible.”

“I don’t want to hear impossible, Valentine!”

“I said ‘virtually’, Sir. Tony Stark is hosting a birthday party for Pepper Potts there next month, that’s our chance to take the girl.”

“Make sure you don’t screw up!”

Valentine sighed as his boss hung up. Maybe for Christmas he’d get the man an old fashioned cradle phone, so when he hung up he could really slam it down properly.

Still, all he had to do was bide his time and not get careless, because the Avenger’s Tower held the keys to ruling the world.

Honestly, if Valentine didn’t need his money so much, he’d probably have killed his boss already. He was not meant to be lackey. He was an idea man, just like it was his idea to clone the alien. He wasn’t a scientist or a hacker or a thief, but he knew what needed to be done and found the right people to do it.

The only thing he lacked was funding.

Rumour was that Hydra still had hundreds of numbered bank accounts all over the world. The problem was, he didn’t have the details necessary to access them. He soon would though, or he’d just take what he needed.

Nina wasn’t the only thing he was stealing and very soon, no one would be able to stop him, not even the damned Avengers.

***

As Nina walked into the ball she looked elegant, beautiful and if Tony wasn’t very much mistaken, sated. He nudged Pepper as she approached with Loki.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” he asked out of the side of his mouth.

“Probably not, because you have the mind of a teenage boy,” Pepper replied, but the smile on her lips belied the harsh words.

“You’re so mean to me,” Tony lamented, turning to Nina and Loki as they approached, “She’s so mean to me.”

“I’m sure that whatever Pepper said, you deserve it,” Loki replied.

“Oh, he did,” Pepper assured them.

Next kisses were exchanged and birthday wishes for Pepper. She had asked for donations to charity in lieu of presents, as she did most years, but Nina had still bought her a little something because although slightly frightened of the vampire living in her tower block, she had gone out of her way to befriend Nina.

They headed to the bar next, and they were surprised to see Steve behind it.

“I thought you were still in Budapest,” Loki said. Steve had been leaving regularly, sometimes for weeks at a time, searching for his brainwashed former friend, Bucky Barnes, also known as the Winter Soldier. He’d gotten close to his old friend many times but had yet to get close enough to have a conversation.

“I was,” Steve said with a sigh. “Just got back last night.”

“I’m sorry,” Nina said with sincerity. “My offer still stands, you know, if you’d like me to come with you and help you look.”

No one could track a person like Nina, her nose was as good as a blood hound, maybe better, but Steve had always worried that a stranger would scare Bucky off or make him more likely to fight.

“Thank you.” It said something about how disheartened he was by his fruitless search that he continued with, “I might just take you up on that.”

Nina reached out and squeezed his hand.

“But enough about me, this is supposed to be a party, and I have something very special for you,” he told Nina before ducking down behind the bar. He rose a few seconds later with a glass filled with blood. “A Bloody Mary for the lady.”

Nina was shocked and although this was supposed to be an intimate gathering, this was also a Tony Stark gathering, meaning that there were a lot of people here that Nina didn’t know.

“Try it,” Steve insisted.

Nina took a sip and moaned. “What is that?”

“Little capsicum, to give it a kick.” He was still staring at her though and she took another mouthful.

“Oh wow, wait a second, is this alcoholic?”

“Yep.” Steve grinned. “It was Loki’s idea, and Tony suggested adding the capsicum juice.”

“But how…?”

“Tony found a couple of businessmen took them out for a liquid lunch and convinced them to donate blood for a charity drive, and the van just happened to be outside. The blood was taken by a doctor donating his time, namely one Dr Bruce Banner.”

Tony had recently bought a medical research company and offered his support to a thrombocytopenia charity, a condition where sufferers don’t produce enough red blood cells, necessitating blood transfusions. He’d bought a mobile donation unit and used it daily to solicited blood. 20% went to his research company, of which two litres per day he purloined for Nina, the rest went to the charity.

Alcohol from a bottle didn’t have any effect on Nina but she’d bitten people who were drunk before and had mentioned that their blood could intoxicate her.

Nina dropped Loki’s hand and leaned into him, wrapping her arm around his waist.

“That’s an awful lot of trouble to go to for me.”

“It was no trouble,” Steve assured her, placing Loki’s preferred beverage, Absinthe, on the bar. Asgardian drinks were far stronger than human alcoholic beverages, so Loki had developed a taste for neat spirits.

“Thank you both.” She smiled at Steve and Loki.

“No problem. I have one refill, just make sure you don’t leave the glass lying around where someone could pick it up.”

Nina nodded her understanding.

They moved over to the window and looked out over the city.

“Are you alright?” Loki asked.

Nina leaned her head on his shoulder. “I think today has been pretty much a perfect day,” she replied.

“Only pretty much?” he asked.

“Well, you haven’t danced with me yet.”

“Oh don’t worry, I fully intend to.” He kissed the top of her head. “No ill effects or feelings from earlier?”

She smiled as she remembered it. It had taken them months but finally they had made love this afternoon.

She’d never experienced anything quite like that before. Her first time with her fiancé had been in a rather basic French hotel, in a snatched few hours away from their platoon. They were both enthusiastic but unskilled so she’s enjoyed it, but she hadn’t climaxed.

Their encounters after that were unplanned, unexpected and infrequent, but they grabbed the chance to be intimate whenever they could.

After she’s changed, well, sex ceased to be a mutual experience.

But this afternoon had been like losing her virginity should have been, if she hadn’t been stuck in France fighting a vicious war.

Loki had set the scene with rose petals, vanilla scented candles and soft, romantic music. They’d begun by repeating most of the exercises they had been given, gradually moving to more intimate touching.

She had gone first, bringing him to climax with her hands and mouth, then he had returned the favour, teasing her, holding her on the brink of orgasm until she was ready to tear his hair out and demand he finish her.

Then they’d laid there, talking about nothing in particular.

Nina had wondered if at any moment, just the thought of being penetrated was going to derail this experience. But Loki never stopped touching her, his hands running over her arms, tweaking her nipples, caressing her hip, and his lips frequently dipped to press a kiss on her oversensitive skin. It was as if his touch was warding off any bad thoughts and feeling, so not even thinking about what was coming next frightened her.

When the time came, neither of them said anything, their kissing just turned more passionate and they knew they were ready.

Loki teased her folds with his fingers again, making sure she well lubricated and ready to take him, and only when he had again driven her half mad with need did he slip his length inside.

She gasped as he filled her and her hands tightened on his biceps. For a moment he worried she was upset but her breathy moan assured him that she felt pleasure, not pain or painful memories, and he began to move inside.

He’d penetrated her with his fingers while masturbating her but she had never met his ministration with the enthusiasm she did now, rising off the bed to meet him thrust for thrust.

Her hands found his back and her nails dug into his skin, deep enough to draw blood on a mortal man.

“Harder,” she begged, and he obliged. “Please harder! I need more!”

He slipped a hand between them and found her clitoris, rubbing the sensitive bud in time with his thrusts.

“Oh God, yes! Yes, like that! I’m-”

She came, her sheath clamping down his length like a vice. It had never occurred to him that all her muscles were stronger thanks to her change but that was definitely the case, so much so that he lasted only two more thrusts before he came as well.

Breathless, he collapsed onto her, resting his head on her shoulder. Her scratches turned to caresses and her panting breaths echoed in his ear.

“Oh, Loki, that was…” She didn’t yet have the vocabulary to describe their love making, nor the mental acuity right now to search for the words.

“It was,” he agreed.

They had made love another two times, until it became clear that they would already be late for the party. Loki tried to convince her to forget about the party, but she insisted that she wouldn’t disrespect Pepper.

“No ill effects,” she assured him now, as Loki moved behind her and wrapped his hands around her waist.

He dipped his head to kiss her bared shoulder.

“How’s your drink?”

“Mmm,” she replied. “Between earlier and my drink, I’m feeling very mellow right now… and slightly buzzed,” she admitted.

Loki chuckled. “Well finish your drink and then I’ll whisk you around the floor in that fabulous gown and be the envy of everyone at this gathering.”

Nina took him up on the offer, they returned the glass to Steve at the bar, then Loki led her out onto the dance floor.

The music was provided by a pianist and a singer and the empo was slow, perfectly suiting her mood right now. Rather than dancing, Nina just rested her head on Loki’s shoulder and they swayed to the music.

They either failed to notice or ignored the people watching them, their world was just the two of them for a while, but that meant that they didn’t notice Valentine, watching them intently from by the bar.

“Let’s not stay too long,” Nina murmured.

“As soon as it is polite, I shall steal you away, my darling.”

“That sounds like an offer I can't refuse.”

“Absolutely, which is why it would be foolish to even try.”

Nina chuckled and raised her head off his shoulder. “Why don’t we get that second drink, then maybe we can slip away.”

“Excellent idea.”

***

Valentine had no idea that Nina and Loki had become so close, but it was possible that he could use this information to his advantage.

Right now he was the most powerful man in the world, and no one even knew it!

They would soon enough though.

***

Loki and Nina were laughing and giggling as they returned to their floor, both slightly drunk and having fun.

The elevator opened onto their lobby and while Loki searched his pocket for the key, Nina cocked her head to the side for a moment, then she pushed Loki up against the wall and practically jumped on him. Anyone watching would see a horny drunk couple, which up until thirty seconds ago, they had been.

“Someone’s in our apartment,” she whispered into his ear between kisses.

Loki was silent as he kissed her, assimilating that information and formulating a plan.

Nina had been involved in a few Avengers operations but she had always been the muscle, never the brains. In time she might develop the skills needed but Loki already had hundreds of years of strategic thinking so she was content to follow his lead on this.

“Let’s play along,” he suggested as he nibbled on her ear. “See what they want.”

“Okay.”

They let themselves into the apartment, still kissing so as to appear distracted, but Nina could hear the stranger breathing and Loki, although he didn’t possess her preternatural hearing, was ready for whatever might happen next.

He set Nina down on a table just inside the door and stepped between her legs, and at the same time, someone cleared their throat.

***

Valentine stepped forward and coughed softly.

“Forgive the interruption,” he pleaded and as Loki turned, he aimed the staff and mind gem at Loki’s chest. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for, but Loki’s surprised expression soon turned passive and blank, so he knew the gem had worked.

“Hey!”

Nina was off the table, coming for him, but he simply pressed the staff to her breastbone. It seemed to take longer with Nina, which was odd, but he reasoned that it was probably just his nerves affecting his perception.

“There,” he smiled once they were both equally vacant.

Discovering that the Avengers had recovered the mind stone from Hydra and that it was kept in Stark Tower had been an unexpected stroke of luck, and one he wasn’t going to overlook.

The mind gem would come in very useful for controlling his army of super soldiers but it would be years until they were up to their full strength so in the meantime, he could bend anyone to his will. He could own corporations, governments, law enforcement, armies, the possibilities were endless, and once those organisations were under his control, using his vampire soldiers to conquer the world would be child’s play.

He had to test his power first though.

“Stand on one leg,” he ordered Loki, who immediately raised his left leg. He turned to Nina. “Kiss me.”

She leaned forward, her chest pressing into the tip of the staff until he moved it, and she kissed him. Given her past, he presumed she wouldn’t do that unless she was under his total control. Satisfied with his work, he turned back to Loki, who still had one foot up.

“What’s the fastest way out of here?”

“Through the basement parking area.”

“Do you have a car?”

“No, but I have access to Tony Stark’s fleet.”

“They’re probably all LoJacked. We’ll head out the front doors, my driver will be waiting. If anyone asks, you’re coming with me to see a painting I recently acquired.”

“Understood.” Loki replied.

Valentine looked to Nina.

“I understand.” She answered.

“Good. Let’s go.”


	8. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven**

Loki and Nina stood behind the burglar in the elevator, and Loki had a chance to reach over and squeezed Nina’s hand.

It had broken his heart to see her kissing someone against her will, but she handled it very well, appearing as vacant as Loki himself looked.

To be honest, he hadn’t been sure if the mind stone would affect Nina or not. As a higher being the mind stone could be used to manipulate Loki’s mind, just as Thanos had done, but it couldn’t take away his free will, as it did with humans. As to whether Nina was more human or more alien, he couldn’t be sure, so it was a relief when he saw that her eyes, like his own, were completely clear.

She squeezed his hand back, recognising that Loki intended to see exactly what was going on before acting. She prayed there were no more sexual things asked of her because kissing this man when she didn’t want to had been hard enough, and she wasn’t sure if she could keep the act up were more required of her.

She dropped Loki’s hand as the elevator dinged to announce they were arriving at their floor, and they followed their would be captor out of the tower.

***

Tony’s phone rang but when he picked it up, Jarvis was the one calling.

 _‘I apologise for disturbing your party, Sir, but I believe we may have a situation on our hands,’_ Jarvis explained.

Tony headed into the next room, closed the door and turned his phone off.

“Define situation,” he asked, and Jarvis turned the holographic display on, which showed lines of code.

 _‘I believe my system may have been hacked, Sir,’_ lines of the code were highlighted.

“You can't be hacked,” Tony reminded him.

 _‘Not externally, but I can be internally. I believe that while I was testing a new component of your suit, new code was uploaded which briefly suppressed a section of my other coding.’_!

“What component?”

_‘A camera, Sir, I have the order details, but the pertinent information is which piece of code was suppressed.’_

“And that would be?”

_‘Floor 9, Sir.’_

“Someone stole the mind gem.”

_‘Yes, Sir, I believe so.’_

“Show me.”

_‘I am still unable to access that floor, Sir.’_

“So how do you know the gem is gone?”

_‘Because a few minutes ago, Mr Laufeyson and Miss Solas left with the man that I believe stole it.’_

An image appeared of three people, Loki, Nina and a third man, leaving the elevator and heading for the entrance.

If he’d betrayed them, Tony would have expected Loki to be holding the stone, but the strange man had it, and Loki seemed to be almost submissive in his posture, walking behind the other man, his face blank.

The camera view changed as they went out of frame and now they had a rear view.

“What’s that?” Tony pointed to Loki’s hand. His left hand held his right wrist behind his back and he was making some kind of shapes with it, a little like one handed sign language.

_‘I have no known meaning for the gestures in my databank.’_

“Okay. Do we have a visual on the car they drove away in?”

_‘Yes, Sir.’_

“Good, run the plates and track the vehicle using satellite and traffic cams. I’m going to get Thor, see if he knows what Loki’s doing.”

***

“It’s a battle code,” Thor explained. “Sometimes, such as when tracking someone or when launching a surprise attack, we are unable to speak aloud, so we’ve developed some hand signals which allow us to communicate.”

Tony, Thor, Bruce and Steve were in the room, examining the footage.

“And what’s he saying?” Steve asked.

“Follow me.”

“I don’t get it,” Steve said, stepping closer to the screen so he could watch as it replayed. “If he’s leaving under duress, why not call us for help? And who even is that guy with them?”

“You think Loki might have betrayed us?” Thor asked.

“I think we need to consider it.”

“And Nina?” Bruce asked Steve.

“She’s been Hydra for far longer than she’s been an Avenger,” he replied.

“The Nina I know wouldn’t betray us,” Bruce said simply.

“That’s just it, how well do we know her? While she’s polite and friendly, she mostly keeps to herself.”

“I know her,” Bruce assured him. “And she wouldn’t betray us.”

“Not even for Loki?”

“I’m with Bruce,” Tony interjected. “If Loki has turned on us, Nina doesn’t realise it, she’s a stooge. But look at this,” he gestured to the repeating footage. “There is no way Loki’s the one calling the shots here.”

“What do you mean?” Steve asked.

“Don’t you remember? Loki likes theatrics, he likes power, he likes ego trips. If he has turned on us, he’s not going to submissively walk behind an underling, he’s going to waltz into the party, letting us all know that he got one over on us.”

The door opened and Pepper entered. “That’s the last guest gone. What’s going on?”

“We’re just debating Loki’s possible motives,” Tony explained.

 _‘Sir,’_ Jarvis cut in. ‘ _The car was tracked to Teterboro Airport. I’m checking all filed flight plans now.’_

“Good work.”

“Do we know who Nina and Loki left with yet?” Pepper asked.

“His name is Peter Valentine,” Tony answered.

“Really?” she seemed surprised.

“You know this man?” Thor asked Pepper.

“Not well but yes. He approached me about the possibility of collaborating on a project. His company is trying to clone human organs for use in transplant patients. He approached us about using the scanning system that Killian developed, which would enable stem cells in the blood to be more accurately separated from other cells.”

“And you agreed?” Tony sounded aghast.

“To let him have the technology, no, but I agreed that on a trial basis, we would do the scans for him and provide him with the data. His work sounded great, and he told me the technology would revolutionise healthcare. And he would be giving it away, like Jonas Salk. He called it his legacy.”

“And why was he at your party?” Steve asked.

“We had a meeting last week where it came up. It would have been rude not to ask him and anyway, I liked him.”

“I can see why you took a shine to him,” Tony admitted, leaving off, ‘ _it’s just a shame it was all total bullshit._ ’

“He’s obviously a skilled manipulator,” Steve offered.

“Given that, the superficial charm, the ease with lying, the fact he works for Hydra, and I'd say we’re dealing with a sociopath,” Bruce offered.

“We don’t know he works for Hydra,” Steve cautioned.

“Whoever he works for, it’s fair to say he’s unethical.”

“So what does that mean?” Steve asked.

“It means he has no empathy, no consideration for anyone but himself. It means he’s capable of anything and if he’s found a way to make Loki and Nina dance to his tune, we have to be careful. If they’re his hostages, he won’t hesitate to kill them.”

“Can they be killed?” Tony asked.

“Loki and I are impervious to most human weaponry, but we can be killed and it’s possible one of you has found a way to do so,” Thor explained.

“I’d be more worried about Nina,” Bruce said. “She heals extraordinarily quickly, even regenerating brain tissue from what we can gather, but it’s very possible that a substantial injury to the brain or heart would be enough to kill her if she can’t regenerate fast enough.”

“That might be why Loki was cooperating,” Thor mused. “If Nina’s life is threatened, I have little doubt that Loki would do whatever was necessary to save her.”

“Define ‘whatever’s necessary’,” Tony asked. “Would he turn on us?”

“Have you met my brother?” Thor smirked. “Loki will do whatever is necessary to protect Nina, yes, but there is little he hates more than being forced into something against his will. If he can find a way to rebel, he will.”

“He didn’t want to come here, but he’s settled in pretty well,” Tony reminded him.

“Loki didn’t want to help Midgard, that is true, but he wanted to remain under our father’s rule even less. His issues with you all were more to do with hurt pride than dislike of you.”

“I knew he liked me,” Bruce quipped.

“So what do we do?” Steve asked.

“We wait,” Tony replied. “Loki says to follow him, so we do that and wait for a signal to act.”

“I’ll visit Asgard, see if I can convince my father to free Loki’s magic.”

“You think that’ll help?” Steve asked.

“I don’t know. Honestly, I’m far from certain that Odin will even do as I ask, but Loki is happy for the first time in… well, a very long time. I have to try.”

***

Judging from the writing on a fire extinguisher, Loki deduced that after two days of travel by plane, ferry and car, they were in French territory. The only thing he didn’t know was which French speaking territory they were in. The boat made him think perhaps an island, but it was possible they landed in England and crossed the English channel to France. Equally there were French speaking islands in the Caribbean, French Polynesia, French Guyana, as well as other scattered islands and clusters in the Indian and Pacific oceans. Plus, while he doubted it due to the time and the various forms of travel, it could be a ploy to disguise the fact that they were in a French speaking region of Canada.

After being ordered to change into regular clothes on the plane, they had been kept blindfolded until they reached their destination and were unmasked inside an elevator. Now they were both blinking furiously against the bright lights. Nina still had her protective contact lenses in but Loki could see that they were starting to irritate her eyes. Better that than the pain of bright light though.

They stopped at a level that appeared to be deep underground, minus 15 according to the lift display when the doors opened. They stepped into what appeared to be a medical laboratory; there were people in various areas, some of whom seemed to be doing experiments and studying samples, and a few who were working on computers.

“Why are we here?” Loki asked.

Valentine turned to him. “Why do you want to know?”

“So that I may best serve you.”

Valentine relaxed. “So you do have some autonomy while controlled?” he lifted the staff with the mind stone in it.

“I still have independent thought, but I am bound to fulfil your will.”

“So why doesn’t she ask questions?” he nodded to Nina.

“She’s more introverted than I.”

Valentine seemed happy with that answer. “The reason you’re here is because I need Nina for the next phase of my plan.”

“Might we know the plan?” Loki asked.

Valentine smiled coldly. “Follow me.”

He led them over to a gurney with a plastic frame over it, holes in the side for access to what was inside. It looked like a quarantine bubble but judging from the gauges, it was actually for environmental control, so the specimen was kept in ideal conditions.

What was lying on the bed seemed to be a mummy but far taller than humans and with grey skin.

Nina found herself drawn to it and stepped closer.

“Yes,” Valentine smiled. “This is what made you.”

Nina had never seen it before. The desiccated husk looked grotesque but all mummies did, she reassured herself. It’s features were humanoid.

She found herself blinking back tears, as if this was an unknown parent or something.

“You are attempting to make more cross breeds?” Loki surmised.

“Oh no, we’re cloning this beauty,” Valentine explained. “Breeding our own soldiers. The problem is, we cannot find donor embryos that are compatible with the creature's DNA, which is where you come in, my dear.” He smiled at Nina. “If you’ll follow me, I’ll introduce you to the head doctor.”

***

Nina had been told to change into a hospital type gown and was sitting on a bed, answering questions.

“Have you ever been pregnant?” the doctor asked, filling in a chart as he went. His accent was weak but probably Russian.

“No.”

“Are you on any kind of birth control?”

“No.”

“Do you have a menstrual cycle?”

“Yes.”

“But you don’t use birth control and you’ve never been pregnant?”

“That’s right.” She had long ago realised that she obviously couldn’t have children. While with Hydra that knowledge hadn’t upset her too much but now… Now she felt a little sharp stab of pain whenever she thought about it. She gritted her teeth in the hopes it wouldn’t show.

She glanced at Loki and saw his confused expression. She’d never said anything about this to him, she hardly wanted to think about it herself but now she could see how she’d been misleading him. Of course he would want children, he was royalty, he needed an heir.

She knew they’d only had sex once, so this might seem a little premature, but their relationship wasn’t traditional and they were much closer than most people who had only had sex one time.

She looked away, ashamed with herself for not having told Loki about her fertility problems.

“Is that a problem?” Valentine asked the doctor, who was frowning.

“It depends on why she’s infertile. I’ll have to run some tests.”

“I don’t understand, what kind of tests?”

“Standard fertility tests but just because she’s infertile doesn’t necessarily mean she’s useless to us. For example she could have viable ova but-”

“Ova?”

“Eggs, but for some reason they aren’t maturing, or they aren’t getting to the womb. Both of those are fixable. Plus, if her ova haven’t been maturing, then she has an extra 70 years’ worth of eggs. In my estimation, assuming the alien DNA didn’t affect her reproductive system, she could have up to half a million viable follicles.”

“In English?” Valentine snapped.

“Follicles are immature eggs. Assuming human fertility drugs work on her, we’ll be able to harvest between 5 and 35 mature eggs per time.”

“Then get started. Loki, you follow me.”

“With respect, Sir, while Nina will obey the doctor as you instructed her, should she feel pain, there might be involuntary movements that could harm the doctor.”

Nina was grateful that Loki was trying to stay with her.

“She won’t be in any pain worse than an injection or blood sample,” the doctor said. “We’ll be fine.”

“What are you going to do?” Nina asked softly.

The doctor seemed surprised she had spoken and glared at her.

“It can’t hurt to answer her, doctor, she’s forced to obey you but Loki is right, she could hurt you inadvertently. It’s best to keep her calm and cooperative. We can’t afford any more delays.”

The doctor sighed theatrically.

“Just a gynaecological exam, some blood and urine tests and if everything checks out, I’ll give her the first dose of drugs in a few days.”

She could endure that. She’d already endured far worse.

“A few days? Did you hear what I said about delays?” Valentine demanded.

“Of course I did, but we don’t yet know why she’s infertile, or how she’ll react to any of the drugs I plan on giving her. She isn’t human any more and if we rush this, we could end up setting this project back a month at minimum, or even killing her, which would finish this project. Now do you want it done quickly and recklessly, or do you want it done right?”

“Fine, you have three days for your tests, then I expect you to start harvesting her eggs so we can get this project started.”

The scientist raised his eyebrows. “I am a doctor, not a puppet! It will take as long as it takes and not a moment sooner. Oh, and just so you know, assuming she follows a human timeline, it takes 22 days to harvest eggs.”

Valentine huffed but strode off, yelling, “Come,” at Loki.

“Scream my name and I’ll come running,” Loki whispered as he walked away, far too softly for humans to hear him.

He looked back as he reached the door and saw her nod her understanding. He thought her saw her lips move, but his hearing wasn’t as sensitive as hers.

***

Valentine had no real use for Loki yet, but he enjoyed the power of having a God at his beck and call.

Loki did everything he was asked, although while he was asked to do menial tasks, he imagined creative ways to kill Valentine. It helped him keep is temper in check.

After making Loki complete half a dozen tedious tasks, from fetching files to making coffee, Valentine seemed to believe that Loki was completely under his control and relaxed, even offering him a whiskey.

His office had no windows but it was nicely decorated, with an oak desk, leather chairs and a leather sofa and armchair set in one corner.

“You know, I admired your plan to take over the earth,” Valentine said as Loki handed him his whisky, then took a seat on the adjacent sofa.

Loki was a master of many things, but reading people was paramount among them. He knew what Valentine wanted to hear.

“Just the execution which let me down. Never use hired help.”

“Hired help?”

“The Chitauri. They weren’t my force.”

“Aah. Funny you should say that, actually, that’s what this cloning project is about.”

“An army of cloned fighters?”

“Exactly. Physically imposing, powerful, and trained to be obedient from birth.”

“You mean brainwashed?”

“Hmm,” Valentine nodded. “Tell me, how many people can the mind stone control at once?”

“I don’t know of a limit. At least hundreds, possibly thousands.”

“And are there any problems with using it?”

“Problems, Mr Valentine?”

“Call me Pete.” He leaned forward and sipped his whisky.

“Very well, thank you.”

“I mean like genie wishes, you get what you want but there’s always a sting in the tail?”

“Not if you’re specific.”

“How so?”

Loki was worried that Valentine would mind control the doctor into experimenting on Nina before Loki knew enough to get them out of here and take everyone down in the process. He had to stall.

“You have to know what you’re telling someone to do. For example, if you tell someone to shoot a friend, they will do so, but if they like that person, the shot might not be lethal. If you want someone killed, say you want them dead, or order them shot through the heart, but don’t just say ‘shoot him’.”

Valentine nodded slowly as he considered this. “So tell me honestly, are you plotting ways to get away?”

“Of course. I’m a God and you are a mortal, this is demeaning and insulting and as soon as I see an opportunity, I will kill you slowly and painfully.”

Pete smiled and picked the sceptre up, which was sitting beside him. “You will never try to kill me or hurt me in any way, either in person, or by other means, understood?”

“Yes.”

Pete laughed. “So, do you think I should control my scientists?”

“Do they pose a threat to you?”

“No, they’re brains, not brawn,” Valentine scoffed.

Loki almost rolled his eyes; The Aesir always respected strength over intellect too.

“Do you understand the science behind what they’re doing?”

“In general terms.”

“Then no, don’t control them. Unless you can direct each step of the procedures, they may find ways to slow you down.”

He nodded. “I like you.”

“As much as I admire the little I know of your plans, I cannot say the same.”

Pete laughed and sipped his drink. “We’ll make a good team, you and I.”

They chatted a while longer, mainly about Valentine’s megalomania, and shared a second drink but Pete couldn’t handle the spirit as well as Loki could, and soon let their location slip.

Valentine yawned and looked at his watch. “Well, I know it’s still early by French time, but I’m still on American time. I think it’s time to turn in.”

“Probably wise,” Loki agreed. “Might I ask if I’m permitted to slumber with Nina?”

“You’re in luck,” Valentine laughed. “We only counted on one superpowered being, you were just a nice bonus, so you’re rooming together. No humping though, it might interfere with our experiments.”

***

Their room was basically a concrete reinforced pit that they had to enter through a side hatch, then climb down a ladder to the bottom, where a bed had been placed.

If Loki had his magic, he could levitate them to the surface but as things stood, this was a pretty good jail cell.

Nina was already in there, lying on the bed waiting for him, and she met him at the bottom of the ladder, greeting him with a massive hug.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

“I’ve been better.”

“Can you… can you bear it?”

“I don’t have a choice,” she replied, then whispered, “We’re being watched,” right beside his ear.

“I’m so sorry, darling,” Loki replied at normal volume. “I wish there was something I could do.”

“This isn’t your fault, Loki. It’s me they want, you’re my collateral damage. It’s my fault.”

“Hush,” he soothed. “Come on, let’s rest; I’m sure tomorrow will be more arduous, so we should sleep while we can.”

He guided her over to the bed and laid on his back, pulling her on top of him so that his lips brushed her earlobe while her mouth was beside his ear. Enough of her hair fell over his face to cover the movement of his lips.

Seconds later, the lights went out, so they knew someone was watching, if not listening.

“Keep still,” he breathed, “they could have infra-red cameras.”

“Okay,” she replied, equally softly.

“Are you really all right?” Loki asked. He kept running his hands over her body, much like he had always done to sooth her, although he had become much more adept at it since their touching therapy had begun.

“I’ve had better days, but there was nothing too invasive. Plus, Dr Guyde taught me some coping techniques. They’ve helped...”

Loki could tell she was putting a brave face on things.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Not your fault,” she assured him.

“It is, I said to play along. We can leave right now, if you need to.”

She was silent for so long that he knew she was sorely tempted.

“No,” she finally decided. “I don’t want this to be a continuing threat, I want any and all remnants of Hydra annihilated so they never try to get their hands on me again.”

“And you can endure another day or two of testing?”

“Yes. Mostly he just takes blood and tissue samples. He wants to check that my cells don’t have a bad reaction to the drugs they’re going to use.”

“And no one abused you?”

“Not in that way. Not yet. If they try, I will kill them, I’ll tell you that now.” she said fiercely.

“And I’ll help.”

“What about you, what did you learn?”

“We’re in France, Valentine is trying to breed an army of Lamey that he can brainwash from birth and use them to take over the world. His boss, who is financing the operation so far, will be coming soon. Valentine will use the mind gem to get his money, then he intends to kill him. I say we strike then. The boss will know more about what remains of Hydra than Valentine does, which makes him more useful.”

“Will he talk though? Hydra are taught to kill themselves rather than reveal secrets.”

“Aah, but we have the mind gem. It might not work on higher beings like us, but I can guarantee I can make it work on any human.”

“Thank you.”

She tried to decide how to breach the next subject and sensing her hesitation, Loki allowed the silence to stretch out until she was ready.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I couldn’t have children,” she finally gathered the courage to blurt.

“Darling, I’m not at all upset.”

“You don’t want children?”

“No, I do, at some point, but the healers on Asgard are a world away from the primitive medicine practiced here. If there is a problem, I’m confident they can help. If for some reason they are unable… Well, if my time on Midguard has shown me anything, it’s that we have options.”

She breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

Slowly Nina began to relax, and Loki slowed his caresses so he wasn’t keeping her awake. He continued to stroke her for a while after she fell asleep, until he was sure that stopping wouldn’t awaken her.

***

The Avengers had assembled in a disused STRIKE base in the south of England, all except Natasha, who was in France tracking Loki and Nina, and Thor, who was still in Asgard.

“All right,” Tony began as a map of Europe appeared on the 50 inch display screen behind him. “So we tracked the flight to Luton Airport, then we were able to track the car to the coast and they caught a ferry to France. We were able to follow their car until here.”

He pointed to a wooded, rural area.

“We think they changed cars in here and we don’t know what to. There are also no traffic cams or CCTV within a mile radius. We’ve widened our search, using facial recognition software on every camera in a five mile radius but for all we know, they could have crossed into another country by now.”

“How’s Nat getting on?” Bruce asked Clint.

“She’s chasing down every contact she’s got but so far, nothing concrete.”

“Are we sure Loki isn’t in on this?” Steve asked.

“I am,” Thor replied, entering the room.

Everyone greeted him, but the pleasure of seeing him again soon gave way to the business at hand.

“Did Odin free Loki’s powers?” Bruce asked.

“He would not,” Thor admitted. “But since Loki could not contact us, I remained in Asgard until the men holding Loki and Lady Nina stopped travelling.”

“How do you know?” Steve asked.

“Heimdall can see all, and he has been keeping his eye on Loki at my request. His reports are also how I know that Loki hasn’t turned on us. He intends to learn what he can, then take out the group who are holding him and Nina.”

“Assuming we believe the psychic Asgardian,” Tony interjected. “Did your mystic say anything about why they took Loki and Nina?”

“He did. A Mr Valentine has found the remains of the alien used to change Nina and he is trying to clone it. He intends to use build an army that way.”

“And where does Nina come into this?” Bruce asked.

“They’ve been unable to clone the DNA. They hope that Nina’s cells will be compatible.”

“So where are they?” Clint asked.

Thor handed over a piece of paper. “I understand these are Midgardian coordinates. Heimdall assured me they would make sense to you.”

Tony took it and entered the data, then the map zoomed into an area.

“What is that?” Bruce asked.

“That’s a Hydra base,” Steve spoke up. “It’s one of the places my team and I took, out in the war.”

“So what now?” Tony asked.

“I think it’s clear that Loki has a plan,” Bruce spoke up. “I say we decamp to France, as close as we dare get to this base and wait until Loki makes his move.”

“I second that,” Tony answered. “All those in favour say ‘aye’.”

Thor and Steve nodded but probably thanks to his preference to seeing better from a distance, Clint look undecided.

“You’re supposed to say ‘aye’ guys,” Tony explained.

“Why does it matter?” Thor asked.

“I guess it doesn’t,” Tony shrugged. “Motion carried, we’re off to France.”

“What if we’re wrong?” Clint asked. “We don’t know this Heimdall and we have no way of knowing how accurate his information is? I mean if Nat can’t find them, how can some alien on another planet.”

“Thor trusts this Heimdall, so I think we should trust Thor’s judgement,” Steve explained.

“Besides, the motion was carried,” Tony shrugged.


	9. Chapter Eight

**Chapter Eight**

Loki had basically been promoted to Valentine’s friend. He was “asked” to do a few menial tasks each day, just to make sure he was loyal, and he was supposedly forced to answer a few questions he didn’t want to answer, but Loki successfully pretended to be controlled by the mind gem, showing just enough anger to prove that he didn’t like it, but that actually pleased Valentine because it made him feel powerful. Valentine thought he was a master manipulator but compared to Loki, he was a rank amateur.

Unfortunately while he had delusions of grandeur, he was little more than the project manager and knew very little of Hydra’s remaining infrastructure, so now Loki was playing a waiting game, biding his time until the boss arrived.

“This office is nice, don’t get me wrong, it’s a little dated maybe, but quality furnishings. There’s nothing newer than the 70s so you can tell how good quality it is.” Valentine mused.

Loki gave a noncommittal, “Hmm,” in reply.

“But I want more, you know? Something like Stark has. I want windows; I know this place is underground, but I don’t mean just a few windows covered with blinds, I want a corner office with walls of windows. Better yet, I want the penthouse. Now that says ‘success’.”

Loki stopped himself rolling his eyes.

“I’d keep it classy though, classic, like the antique desk and the button back winged armchairs. What do you think?”

“I think they’re dated and show your strategy to be dated.”

“You think my strategy is dated?”

“I think people visiting you in an office full of antiques and old fashioned furniture, will think your strategy is outdated.”

“So you think my plan is good then?”

“I’m… unable to see any flaws in it,” he lied, appearing grudging to be giving even mediocre praise.

“Knew you’d love it.” Valentine grinned. “So how would you decorate an office?”

“Clean lines, natural stones or marble, leather, glass. Simple and elegant lines,” Loki said truthfully.

“Maybe,” Valentine got up and walked around the room. Loki was seeing signs of mild claustrophobia and he could see why. This office, while spacious, was hundreds of feet underground.

He headed to the decanter and poured his own drink for a change, despite it being only 3pm, according to the clock on Valentine’s desk. It seemed that while underground, time mattered not.

“It’s been almost three days, do you think we should go and check up on the good doctor?” Valentine asked.

“I would enjoy seeing Nina,” Loki replied.

Valentine downed the finger of whisky, placed the glass on his desk and picked up the sceptre.

“Then let’s go.”

***

Nina was beyond crying now. The first day was simple. The second was not, she had cried silently for most of it but now she was elsewhere.

In her mind she was dancing with Loki, arm in arm, cheek to cheek, gently swaying to When a Man

Loves a Woman by Percy Sledge. Earlier it has been The Way You Look Tonight, before that, I Only Have Eyes for You, before that Never Tear Us Apart.

“Stop that.”

Many years ago she had learned to play the piano and although that hobby had atrophied, she still had a knack for remembering music and lyrics.

“Stop it!”

Something slapped her thigh and the stinging pain pulled her from her safe space. She was disoriented for a moment, until she looked down and saw the doctor between her legs.

Oh yes, she’d been trying to avoid suffering through his internal examination. She could feel the discomfort from the cold speculum and because she was being underfed again, she wasn’t healing from the aches and scrapes he was causing.

“Stop what?” she growled, she’d been lying perfectly still.

The doctor finally made eye contact with her. “Stop humming, it’s annoying.”

“Well what you’re doing is a little more than annoying,” she snapped back.

“This is not a competition!”

“No, it’s a rape.”

“I-” He turned red, the allegation clearly having disturbed him. “I am a professional and this is not rape, this is a necessary examination.”

“An examination I don’t want and is only necessary so you can further assault me and steal my eggs.” “Shut up! Stop talking!”

She was heavily tempted to kill him on the spot but she knew she needed to obey for a little while longer.

She laid her head back down and ground her teeth together. She tried to relax, to meditate, to get back to that safe space in her mind, but her anger was rather hindering her efforts.

As he poked and prodded around, she clenched her jaw so tightly that it quickly began to ache.

“Jones, get me a brighter light,” the doctor called, and another doctor entered seconds later, with a portable lamp.

She did have a modesty sheet but it meant that she couldn’t see what they were doing, and it was hard to tell from the feel of their actions alone.

“Take more blood and when we’re done here, we’ll test it.”

They took her blood then left so thankfully, she was able to sit up, although not to change out of her hospital gown. Through the slightly open door she could see scientists running around, coming into her room to take more blood, or her blood pressure, temperature, pulse and anything else they could think of.

She wished she knew what was happening and why they looked so excited. With her sensitive hearing she could make out their words when they spoke, but it was technical speak with lots of abbreviations, such as HCG levels, that meant little to her.

The doctor returned to her room.

“Have you had sexual relations recently?” he demanded. No pretence of a clipboard this time.

Nina didn’t answer, not just because she didn’t want to, but because he had ordered her to shut up.

“Sexual partners?” he prompted.

Nina glared daggers at him.

“Who. Have. You. Had. Sex. With?” be enunciated slowly, as if she was stupid.

Nina grinned maniacally at him and pointed to her mouth.

“Speak!” he yelled so loudly that he sprayed her with spittle.

Nina knew she was pushing things, but she mimed opening her mouth and trying to speak.

“I rescind my previous order and allow you to speak, now answer me!”

“Yes, I have had sexual relations recently.”

“With who?”

“Whom. And it was with Loki.”

He dashed from the room again and left the door wide, but Nina was still unable to make any sense of what was happening.

Moments later she heard Loki’s voice.

“Might I see her?”

“Of course. We’ll join you shortly.”

Loki stepped into her room and pulled the door nearly closed. He covered the space between them in two steps and enveloped her in a tight hug.

“Are you alright?”

“Something’s going on,” Nina confided.

“What?”

“I don’t know, but there’s a buzz about something.”

“You’re worried.”

“I’m about to have my eggs harvested, of course I’m worried.” She clung slightly tighter.

They could hear the doctor and Valentine as they got closer and stopped talking so they could listen, but it meant little to Nina. Luckily for her, Valentine was no more _au fait_ with the technical jargon than she was.

“…the cervix was tightly closed,” The doctor said, “the plug is thick and the cervix itself is soft and sitting high in the vagina, so we took a blood sample and tested for hCG-”

“Which is?” Valentine asked, cutting him off

“Human chorionic gonadotropin. Her levels are elevated!”

“What does that mean?” Valentine demanded.

“She’s already pregnant.”

Valentine seemed stumped for a moment and was quiet.

One of Nina’s arms around Loki tightened, and her other hand sought his, gripping it tightly.

“So we have to abort it before we can harvest eggs?” Valentine asked.

Nina gripped Loki’s hand so tightly that she would have broken the hand of a mortal, but Loki’s grip was no looser than hers.

“No one aborts our child,” Loki hissed.

Nina felt a rush of relief at those words, but she didn’t relax at all. If they wanted to take her baby away, they were going to have a fight on their hands.

“NO!” the doctor sounded appalled. “I don’t think you understand, this is Loki’s child.”

“Loki?” Valentine repeated.

“Yes.”

“But I thought she was infertile.”

“Apparently only to human men.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Nina is no longer entirely human. Back when her experiment was carried out they were unable to properly determine the extent of her change, but now we can get a breakdown of her entire genetic code. While she isn’t totally alien, her DNA is 82% alien.”

“But she’s human, she looks human.”

“She was fully grown when she was experimented on so rather than affecting her appearance or growth, the virus simply switched most of the DNA in her cell nuclei with the alien DNA. That accounts for why her irides receded.”

“Irides?” Valentine was becoming more and more frustrated with the doctors language. “It’s the plural of iris.”

“I don’t understand.” He sighed heavily, as though his failure to comprehend was the other man’s fault.

“Think of DNA like a computer program, it tells the body what to do. The iris vanished because her alien DNA isn’t programmed to repair and replenish those cells. Same with replenishing the melanin in her hair and skin, it isn’t part of her programming. Had she been experimented on while prepubescent, she likely would have matured to something resembling that alien we’re studying but she wasn’t, so the changes to her physical appearance are minimal.”

“Okay, just because she can't have children with human men, doesn’t mean she isn’t perfect for harvesting her eggs. If anything, being more like the creature will give her eggs a better chance of successfully hosting the alien nucleus.”

“Yes but we would need alien sperm to fertilise the ova first.”

“Fine, see if the ice mummy has any sperm left in his balls.”

“Sir, you’re missing the point!” the doctor sounded frustrated.

“Then explain it to me,” he condescended.

“She’s having Loki’s child. Firstly, Loki is a known entity, we know about his strength, invulnerability, temperament and intelligence for example, while the alien is an unknown quantity. Secondly, Loki is a living being, who can produce millions of viable sperm each day. The soldiers wouldn’t need to be clones, they could be siblings, which would greatly reduce the chance of genetic abnormalities.”

His muscles were clenched so tightly that Loki was standing as still as a statue.

Children were a sore point with him because when he eventually had them, he had long vowed that he would be a far better father than Odin.

His children would know they were loved.

He would never favour one over the others.

They would be treated fairly, always.

And he would never let anything bad happen to them if he could help it.

Now these men were talking about turning his offspring into mindless soldiers, brainwashing them into compliance.

He would never let that happen. They could not have chosen a worse stick to poke this bear with.

“But if we let this pregnancy continue, that means we can't harvest any new eggs for 9 months,” Valentine argued.

“Assuming they have the same gestation period as we do.”

“I don’t want to wait that long. Abort it and we’ll start again.”

“But-”

“No! All future pregnancies will be multiple births, at least twins, possibly a lot more, I am not waiting nine months for one single child to…”

Each word was like a knife to Loki’s heart and as he thought of what tortures his children might endure during their training, his heart ached.

“I won’t let them take our baby,” Nina whimpered.

It felt like a million rubber bands, all slapping against his skin at once. It more than stung, it hurt like a bitch, but as he felt the power flowing through his veins again, he smiled cruelly.

“Loki?”

He looked down at Nina.

“My magic is back,” he whispered.

Nina appeared to be completely confused. Whether that was because she had forgotten Loki used to have magic, or because it was a complete non sequitur, he didn’t know, but he didn’t want her thinking he didn’t care.

“I’m hard to stop at the best of times, but with my magic I’m unbeatable.”

Understanding dawned and the fearful expression she had worn ever since they began talking of aborting her child now transformed, as she remembered that she wasn’t Hydra’s pet any longer.

She had been doing this by choice. They had no power over her now.

“I get the doctor,” she told him, licking her fang as it ran out.

Loki smirked and nodded his agreement.

“They’re coming,” Nina warned.

Loki conjured a throwing dagger into the hand behind Nina’s back.

“Put your head on my shoulder and wait for my signal.”

They waited silently, listening.

“Fine, the pregnancy is only days old, so there’s a drug I can give her.”

“How fast will it work?”

“Three days to a week!” the doctor was becoming more impatient by the minute.

“It needs to be faster!”

“Fine, I’ll perform an aspiration instead, will that make you happy?”

“How long will it take?”

“Fifteen minutes, perhaps a day of light bleeding.”

“Do that then.”

The doctor stormed off and Valentine entered seconds later, which was perfect for Loki’s plans.

“How are we doing?” he asked as he approached. “We’re not being too hard on you, I hope Nina.”

Nina glared ay him.

Loki left a clone with Nina and teleported behind Valentine.

“Excuse me,” he said, and as Valentine turned, Loki stabbed him in the arm and took the sceptre from his grip. “I really do hate to do this,” he said as the tip touched his chest.

“Actually that’s a lie,” he admitted as Valentine’s eyes turned a milky blue. “I can't wait to have you in my thrall.”

Loki removed the sceptre and grinned.

“Not so nice to be on the receiving end, is it? Truthfully I didn’t have to stab you, I’m far stronger than you, I just wanted to.”

“The doctor’s approaching,” Nina warned, tilting her ear towards the door to better hear.

“Good,” Loki grinned at her then turned back to Valentine. “I’m glad you’re wearing a dark suit, the wound isn’t fatal but we’ll leave the dagger in to slow the bleeding anyway; it’s more painful that way. Now, act normally and keep your front to the doctor so he doesn’t see the hilt sticking out of your arm.”

Loki placed the sceptre on the side unit, and made his expression neutral as the door opened wide and the doctor wheeled a cart in.

“Lie back,” the doctor ordered Nina.

She stayed where she was.

“I said, lie back,” he snapped.

Nina looked up and he met her gaze for a change.

“No,” she said calmly.

“You have to-”

“No.”

He stepped forward to push her down onto the bed but she was as solid as a rock.

“Doctor,” she growled, and he stilled at the vicious tone to her voice.

He opened his mouth, so her hand shot out and grabbed his neck to prevent him from screaming.

“You silly man,” she admonished, her voice deceptively calm. “I was never under your control, the mind stone doesn’t work on me, because I’m no longer a lesser being.”

She didn’t believe she was above humans, but she’d heard enough of Loki’s rants and she knew that kind of language would hurt a man as arrogant as the doctor. Three days and she still didn’t know his name, she wasn’t even worthy of an introduction.

She slowly pulled him closer.

“You know, if you’re going to kidnap a vampire, you shouldn’t underfeed them. It makes us aggravated and of course, hungry.” She whispered the last word in his ear. He was trying to speak and she thought she could hear wheezing pleas.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” She loosened her grip a little and leaned back so she could look into his eyes as he spoke.

“Please don’t murder me!”

“Murder? I’m not going to murder you,” she flashed him a sly smile and he looked relieved. “I'm going to eat you. That’s nature, not murder.”

His face turned ashen as she growled softly then using her speed, she punched him in his Adam’s apple so he couldn’t speak for a while.

“Now you’ve had me three days and underfed me by about a litre, or 2 pints every day, which is six pints you owe me. The human body has an average of eight to ten pints. Do you think you can survive that?” she asked sweetly. “Of course, I’m not using any measurement equipment, so there’s a chance I could take more.”

Grabbing a handful; of his hair, she pulled his head to the side, exposing his neck and she licked a fang as she watched the slight throb caused by his pulse.

“Goodbye doctor. I would ensure you have a decent funeral, but you never saw fit to tell me who you are, so it has to be an unmarked grave that no one will visit.”

With a snarl, she bit down into his neck and fed. True to her word, she stopped before he was dead, but he would continue to bleed from his wounds and she was certain that he would die soon. She hopped down off the bed and still using his hair, she dragged his now limp body onto the table.

His breathing was shallow and rasping thanks to his ruined throat, his pulse racing, his skin pale, and his skin clammy. He had minutes to live and she left him there, strapping him down with the restraints that had been meant for her if she resisted.

She knew that to an arrogant man like him, imminent death would be more terrifying than any physical torture she could devise. Once he was strapped down, she turned to Loki.

“What now?” she asked.

Loki smiled, pleased with her actions.

“Well you do look rather bloody and as much as I enjoy seeing your bottom, I feel that clothes would be more appropriate.”

She wiped her mouth with her arm and saw the blood streaking it.

“Sorry, I’m not really used to feeding from living victims. I’m sure I’d have much better table manners with a little experience.”

Loki shrugged. “Next time you’re hungry, you can feed on this one,” he nudged Valentine.

Now conscious of the open back of her hospital gown, Nina awkwardly searched through the cupboards until she found alcohol wipes, which were hardly ideal but better than nothing. She ducked behind the ancient privacy screen, which hadn’t been moved at all since she’d been here because she wasn’t deserving of privacy.

While she cleaned up and dressed, Loki approached the doctor, making Valentine accompany him.

“Your fate won’t be nearly so fast,” he warned. “That dagger in your arm is just the beginning.”

Valentines eyes widened but he was unable to show any kind of fear.

The gem’s effect was more like brainwashing than mind control, which is to say it turned a person’s will to the man who enthralled him. Orders don’t often need to be given because the controlled person has no will of his own any longer, he shares his master’s. He doesn’t need to be ordered not to betray them because he has no desire to betray them.

Yet there is a part of the mind that remains awake and aware, it knows it’s will is being overridden, and it hates it.

That knowledge pleased Loki immensely.

Nina came out, pulling her hair out of the hoodie they’d given her. She was overdue for a trim.

“So what now?” she asked.

“Come watch,” Loki said, holding his arm out and putting it around her shoulders as she came to stand next to him. “The good doctor is seconds away from death.”

He was looking up at her from the table; Nina smiled and waggled her fingers at him in an imitation of a girlish wave.

Then it was as though the light in his eyes went out but he was still breathing.

“Get me the mind stone,” Loki ordered Valentine, knowing that having to touch the sceptre and being unable to use it would be the height of mental cruelty. Like opening the jail cell door of a convict but not wide enough for him to get out.

Valentine handed him the sceptre and Loki touched it against the doctor’s forehead.

“He’s in a coma, unaware of what’s going on around him.”

“We should move on then,” Nina said. She just wanted to get out of here.

“We can play this one of two ways,” Loki told her. “Option A, we can kill everyone on this floor.”

“Won’t the security guards see?”

“This place is large and old, there are only five working cameras in the whole facility; three outside, one in the missile silo they call a bedroom, and one in the corridor we take to and from there. No one will know the doctors are all dead, and I can seal the entrances to this floor with magic.”

“Okay, so what’s option B?”

“We kill everyone and go home.”

Nina opened her mouth but nothing came out. She desperately wanted to agree with plan B but Loki had a plan going into this and if she wanted to be left alone, they really did have to take Hydra out once and for all. Valentine wasn’t behind this and until his boss was dead, the threat to her baby remained.

“We have to finish this, like we planned.”

Loki nodded. “So just this floor then?”

“Just this floor.”

“How many scientists?”

“I think five, including him.” She looked at the man, who was barely clinging to life on the table.

Loki turned to Valentine. “Is she right?”

“There are seven in total. Six now”

“Take your gun out.”

Valentine carried one as a last resort.

“Now go out there and kill every scientist.” Loki ordered.

Valentine nodded and headed for the door, Loki and Nina following in his wake. The noise was deafening though and after the first shot. the scientists began to scramble, first to find out what the noise was, then to run away from the gunman.

“Security will hear!” Nina yelled to Loki, turning a worried look towards the elevator and stairwell door.

“My magic is suppressing the sound outside of this floor,” Loki replied. “Besides, he thought we were harmless, so the security guards are all on the ground level, ready to kill Valentine’s boss when he comes.”

Nina relaxed, although she kept casting a wary eye on the entrances to the floor.

Valentine was a good shot and with ten bullets, he managed to kill five of them with a double tap, meaning a shot to the chest followed by a head shot. That left one. Who was cowering behind his station. Valentine fired the gun but there were no more bullets.

“Shall I?” Nina asked Loki.

He shook his head and ordered Valentine. “Pull the dagger out of your arm and kill him with it.”

Loki knew that killing his own scientists was the equivalent of killing his dream. This must be hell for Valentine.

With the conflict over, Nina found herself walking towards the alien and she paused by the plastic bubble.

“Are you alright?” Loki asked as he joined her.

“I don’t know,” she answered honestly. “I feel strange, like in some ways, he’s my father.”

“In some ways, _she_ is,” he corrected.

“It’s a woman?”

“The Lamey don’t have the same superficial gender indicators that humans do. It’s my understanding that only the female Lamey reached over eight feet in height, so they could better protect their young, add the fact that she has a wide pelvis, I think it’s probably a woman.”

So I guess that makes her my mother, sort of.”

“You share 82% of her DNA, so yes, she is a parent of sorts.”

“I feel like we should destroy her, so no one else can use her again,” Nina confessed, “but that also feels disrespectful.”

“You sometimes cremate your dead, don’t you?”

“Sorry?” she turned to him, confused by his change of subject. “Um, yeah, some people do, I guess.” She turned back to the Lamey.

“Then allow me to cremate her remains, and you can take her ashes and give her a proper burial.” “Can we do it here?”

“I can do it right now, if you’d like.”

She slipped an arm around his waist and leaned into him. “Can we go there one day? I’d like to see where my people are from.”

“Once my exile is over, and when mother learns of your pregnancy, I have a feeling that will be very soon, then of course we can.”

Nina was silent for a long moment.

“Do it,” she finally said. “Cremate her. She deserves to be at rest.”

Loki waved his hand and a green glow enveloped the body, which quickly turned red, then white. Cracks formed as the body turned to ash and crumpled, yet the plastic surround showed no sign of heat damage.

Nina didn’t even ask ‘how’, ‘magic’ was enough of an answer for the moment.

“What next?” she asked as heat glow faded away. She looked around the mostly white laboratory, which was now sprayed, splattered and dripping with blood.

“We tempt Valentine’s boss here now. Why don’t we talk in more auspicious circumstances,

Valentines office is far from modern but it is comfortable. And if you need a drink, we can ply Mr Valentine here with a lot of alcohol.”

“Okay.”

“Valentine,” he called, and as the man approached, Loki looked him up and down, focusing on the blood on him, thanks to stabbing the final. Valentine liked to dress well and had bragged about how much his suit cost.

“You look awful,” he scoffed. “Your boss will never take you seriously if you can't learn to kill cleanly.”

“Yes, Sir. Sorry, Sir.”

“Find a container, collect all these ashes and put them into it.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“When you’re done, we’ll be waiting for you in your office. You’re going to call your boss and tell him we’ve hit an unexpected snag, that the science team are dead and that you need more money.”

“Cell phones don’t work this far underground,” Nina warned as they walked away.

“The wired ones in his office will,” Loki assured him.


	10. Chapter Nine

**Chapter Nine**

“Sir, we have a situation,” Valentine told his boss, sounding hesitant and upset, just as Loki had instructed.

“What kind of situation?” the other man barked.

He was on speaker phone, so Nina and Loki shared a questioning look at the boss’s harsh tone.

“Something happened with the vampire,” Valentine explained. “She, uh, well, she murdered the scientists.”

“What? All of them? How? Why?” Nina cringed from how loud he had become and slipping out from under Loki’s arm, she moved back a few steps.

“Apparently she was already pregnant and when she overheard them planning to terminate, she… well she killed them all.”

“Where is she now?”

“She’s restrained for now, on the medical floor.”

“Jesus, you couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery!”

“Sir, I’m not sure where to look for new scientists, we already poached the best who were receptive to our offer.”

“Christ Almighty!” he sighed heavily. “I’m flying out there tonight and I’ll be with you tomorrow. I’ll handle things myself from now on.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Nothing! Make sure the vampire is contained and I’ll determine what to do tomorrow.” He issued a string of expletives that tailed off until he hung up the phone.

Valentine hung up and stood by the desk, awaiting his next order.

“Take a shower, change clothes, then go and check on the guards up top. Be sure to behave like an arsehole however, we need them to think everything is normal.”

“Yes, Sir,” he nodded and left.

Loki leaned against the desk, stretching his long legs out, and Nina stepped between them. He put one arm around her waist and with his other, he reached to put the phone onto speaker and dialled.

“Miss Potts office.”

“Mr Friggason for Miss Potts.”

“Connecting you now, Sir.”

Generic hold music played for thirty seconds before Pepper picked up.

“Loki, is that really you?”

“It is, we’re safe.”

“Nina’s with you?”

“I’m here,” she answered, then Loki took over.

“I was wondering if you could send a car and plane for us tomorrow. And immigration might need some handling as well, unfortunately we didn’t bring our passports.”

“Of course, but where are you?”

“France, I have the coordinates written down if that helps you.”

“It does. Tony and the others are already over there, searching for you.”

“Tell them not to come.”

“No?”

“We’re laying a trap so we can't have any sign of the others being close, understand?”

“Why are you talking to me then?”

“Oh, we’ve killed and maimed a few people, you know the drill, but there’s no one of import to witness me telephoning you.”

“Loki!”

“They were hurting Nina.”

“Is she okay?”

He looked down to the woman in his arms but she showed no signs of wanting to answer.

“Let’s just say, I don’t believe there will be any lasting damage from this. But the point is that sometime tomorrow a gentleman is arriving, and I believe he is the highest ranking person in what remains of Hydra.”

“You can’t kill him, Loki!” Pepper sounded

“Oh don’t worry, I won’t,” Loki’s smile was ice cold, so it was a damn good job they weren’t using videophone or Pepper would have known he was lying. “I simply intend to subdue him and hand him over to SHIELD.”

“Okay. Give me your number and I’ll call back with Tony’s contact information.”

He did, then they hung up.

“Loki?” Nina asked, her confusion evident, and he knew the reason for it.

“Never doubt me, darling,” he smiled tenderly, pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear. “As soon as he gets here I’ll subdue him with the stone, order him to tell everything he knows to SHIELD and the moment he has and is alone, I’ll order him to run headlong into a wall, over and over, until he is no longer capable. The human skull is so fragile, and these Hydra operatives do like to take their own lives rather than be captured.”

“And Valentine?”

“He has to remain alive to allay his boss’s suspicions, but while they’re touring the facility, you are going to take out any personal security guards. Once they’re subdued, Valentine is all yours, darling. Unless you prefer I do it, I can make it look like an accident, if you want.”

“Courtesy of your magic?”

“Yes. I almost forgot how useful it was.” He grimaced. “I almost became accustomed to being human.”

“You were hardly human,” Nina scoffed. “And I took the doctor, so you can take Valentine.”

He smiled. “So my plan, do you approve?”

Nina nodded and Loki moved one hand to her abdomen.

“Magic or no magic, I promise you this, I will never let anyone hurt you or our baby. I’ll defend you both to the death.”

Nina found herself too choked up with emotion to speak, so she put her arms around him and held him tightly.

Loki wasn’t at all surprised when she began to cry; he knew her well enough to know her tears had no one cause but rather were a combination of what she had endured; the surprise of finding out she was pregnant, the relief of now being safe and yet, the niggling fear that something could still go wrong.

Loki had always been good at reading other people but he understood Nina better than almost anyone.

“I’m sorry,” she sniffed as her crying finally lessened.

“Are your eyes hurting?” Loki asked, knowing that not only had she had the same lenses in for 5 days now, crying made her eyes feel dry.

“I’m okay.”

“Your eyes need a rest. I’ll go and get some saline solution and petri dishes from the laboratory to store the lenses in, and there’s a torch in one of the desk drawers; we can point that at the wall to diffuse its light.”

“It’s okay, I’ll go to the lab,” Nina said, wiping her eyes.

“No-”

“I want to keep busy,” she assured him. “You call the others and coordinate tomorrow’s movements.” “You’re sure?”

She pressed a kiss to his lips. “I’m sure.”

***

40 Hours Later

“Care to explain yourself?”

“I already have.” Nina held Coulson’s gaze, resisting the urge to fill in the silence.

She was in her tenth hour of debriefing and despite two meal breaks, she was tired, grouchy and she just wanted to see Loki and to sleep.

Coulson caved first.

“So can we expect multiple deaths on all your incidents now? First you took out everyone at the Phillip’s house-”

“Almost everyone,” she corrected. She sat at the table, hands crossed before her, resisting the urge to look at the two way mirror.

They were on the SHIELD Helicarrier, heading back to New York.

“Now you’ve killed 11 people-”

“Four.”

“Pardon?”

“I only killed four. The doctor who was experimenting on me and three bodyguards.”

“Was that really necessary?”

“Yes.”

“Miss Solas-”

“Nina.”

“Nina, our problem is that we can’t have a loose cannon on our team.”

“I’m not a loose cannon.”

“Really? Because you have no regret over having murdered four people today.”

Nina really hated getting personal but although they knew the facts, she knew she had to make them understand.

“When I killed those people at Phillips’ house, I didn’t work for SHIELD, and each and every person I killed had either raped me, or been a party to my abuse. Ask those that I left alive, they were the few who treated me with compassion.

“Since I’ve been helping you, I haven’t killed anyone and I haven’t inflicted any injury worse than a broken bone. I’m careful around humans, and you know it.”

“Four dead,” Coulson reminded her.

She nodded and took a deep breath.

“You have to understand, for seventy years I thought I could never have a family, that I was barren. Then in one day- Hell, in the space of five minutes I not only discovered I was pregnant, but that they wanted to abort my baby. So yes, I killed the doctor, I allowed the other scientists to be killed, and I murdered the head honcho’s three body guards.”

“And Valentine?”

“That was an accident, he fell down a lift shaft.” She wasn’t about to compromise Loki’s probation.

“Fell down a lift shaft, you expect us to believe that?”

“It’s what happened.”

“You know that elevators have built in safety devices, right?”

“Then something went wrong, these elevators, as you call them, are forty or more years old.

“So his death was an accident?”

“Neither Loki nor I laid a hand on him.”

“But Loki has his magic back, correct.”

“He does.”

“So he didn’t…?”

“I fail to see how, he wasn’t there when the doors opened.”

“And you didn’t push him?”

“No, I didn’t, although I wish I had.”

“So you regret nothing about what you did?”

“The only thing I regret is that my conscience made me leave the top man alive for you to question.” “Why?”

“Because he still wants to use me to clone aliens, which means he poses a threat to my baby.”

“So we’re just supposed to let you off scot free?”

Her expression hardened. “Look, you can do what you want to me. You can put me on trial, you can throw me in jail, you can banish me from this realm if you want, but I will kill anyone who tries to take my baby or my Loki away from me. Understood?”

Phil nodded. “So what happens if your pregnancy is in danger while you’re helping us? Bad guys aren’t known for going easy on pregnant women.”

She nodded as she considered his point. “You’re right, I’ll bench myself until the baby is born.”

“And if something happens during training?”

“I won’t train.”

“So you’re going to do nothing for nine months?”

“Actually Loki thinks the pregnancy is likely to last eleven months.”

“So you’re going to do nothing for eleven months?”

“I thought I might try going to university. There’s a one year foundation course for those who have been out of education for a while. I’ve considered giving it a go. Maybe if I do well, I can go on to get a degree.”

“And this just occurred to you in the last day?”

“No, I’ve been thinking about this for a while, you can check my internet history if you don’t believe me. I just… the timing seems fortuitous, don’t you think?”

“The next school year doesn’t start until September.”

“I know, the timings aren’t exact, but I can use the next year to practice painting my nails, or I can try to improve myself. I haven’t actually gone as far as applying to anywhere and I might be too late, or I might not get in. Maybe I’ll do a correspondence course, I don’t know. All I do know is that I want this baby. Everything else is incidental.”

“And Loki,” Phil added.

“I’m sorry?”

“You said you would kill anyone who tried to take your baby or _your Loki_ away from you.”

“That’s true,” she smiled. “Now if you don’t mind, I’m really hungry and Bruce wants to check me over.”

“I’m surprised Loki doesn’t want to take you to healers on Asgard.”

“He does,” she admitted. “But travelling through the bifrost sounds a little traumatic and it worries me a little with the pregnancy being so new, plus he’s sort of banned from returning home still, so he’s going to ask Thor to try and bring one of their healers to me. In the meantime, Bruce knows the most about my physiology and we, uh, we took all the information Hydra had on me and I gave it to Bruce to look over.”

“Are you sure you’re comfortable with that?”

“Something good might as well come from this. Besides, I’m sure SHIELD have a copy too.”

He nodded but didn’t speak.

“So can I go now?”

“Miss Solas, you have to understand-”

“If I was any other kidnapping victim, would I face charges for killing my captors?”

“You’re not any other kidnapping victim. you’re an alien with a history of working for Hydra and multiple murders on your hands.”

“No, I’m an enhanced human as the result of an experiment, just like Steve and Bruce. For all you know, they were enhanced by alien DNA too. Your life was also saved by alien DNA, wasn’t it? How many people have you killed during your career? Are you also a threat?”

She stood up.

“When we reach New York, I’ll agree to stay in the tower for a week while you decide what to do with me. Right now, I want Loki-” she found herself blinking back tears, “and I think if you have even an ounce of compassion for what I endured over the last few days so that SHIELD could have the highest ranking Hydra agent in custody, then you’ll get out of my way and let me be with the only man who makes me feel safe.”

She swiped at her tears.

“And can we turn these fucking lights down?” she turned away, lowering her head.

“Of course. I’ll send Loki in and have a room prepared for the two of you.”

He left the room

***

Coulson entered the viewing gallery, where Lance and Natasha were waiting, along with Fury, although he seemed to be incognito and was keeping to the shadows

“What do you think?” Fury asked him.

“Honestly, I’m not sure.”

“I am,” Natasha turned to Fury. “You can't blame her for what happened while she was with Hydra, she’s just another victim. Since she was rescued, she’s only killed Hydra agents, who all have blood on their hands.”

“She’s right,” Lance agreed.

“She threatened to kill anyone who posed a threat to her child,” Fury argued.

“Assuming I could get pregnant, I would too,” Natasha defended her.

“I think most mothers would,” Lance agreed. “I knew a mother once who broke a man’s finger, just because he-”

“Stop talking,” Coulson ordered, and Lance shut up.

Fury sighed and looked to Coulson. “This is your decision now.”

“I’m inclined to watch her over the next eleven months. I think she’s been dealt a raw hand and honestly, I like her. It’s possible she overreacted but then again, she is suffering from PTSD.”

“She’s still in counselling, right?” Fury asked.

“She is.”

“Then for what it’s worth, I agree with your assessment.”

***

Nina almost began to cry again from relief and pressed her fingers onto her eyelids to stop them.

 _‘Where’s Loki?’_ Natasha asked in the next room.

 _‘Surprisingly, he’s being very well behaved and giving a statement to Sky- I mean, Daisy,’_ Lance replied.

 _‘Loki’s being well behaved?’_ Fury asked.

 _‘Well, he’s being a snarky little bastard, but that’s hardly surprising, and he is answering all the questions, put to him.’_ Nina could almost picture Lance shrugging.

 _‘And their stories agree, right?’_ Fury asked.

 _‘They do,’_ Natasha replied.

 _‘Seem to,’_ Lance said at the same time.

 _‘Get them together and give them the good news,’_ Coulson ordered.

 _‘How’s it going with the Hydra agent?’_ Fury asked.

 _‘Thanks to the mind stone Loki used on him, he’s singing like a bird,’_ Natasha replied.

The door to her room opened and Loki entered. She ran into his arms and held him tightly.

“We’re in the clear,” she whispered.

His hug tightened briefly in acknowledgement.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah. Tired, looking forward to sleeping in my own bed again.”

“The others are all worried about you. If Coulson was too hard, I think they’ll give him grief for a year.”

Nina laughed and shook her head. “He was only doing his job.”

Nina suddenly heard hurried footsteps and the door in the next room opened.

_‘Sir, the prisoner is dead.’_

_‘What?? How?_ ’ Coulson demanded.

_‘As soon as he was put in his cell, he ran headlong into the wall before anyone could get in to stop him.’_

_‘God damn it!’_ Fury cursed. _‘How much did we get?’_

_‘He spoke solidly for twelve hours, we only stopped questioning him when we ran out of questions.’_

There were more footsteps, heavy this time, angry, and seconds later the door to their room slammed opened.

“Is this your doing?” Fury demanded from the doorway.

Loki and Nina separated slightly.

“Is what our doing?” Loki asked innocently.

“Harris just killed himself.”

“Who is Harris?” Nina interjected.

“The man whose bodyguards you murdered and Loki used the mind stone on!”

“How could that be our fault?” Loki asked.

“He’s dead?” Nina asked, the break in her voice real. Despite her foreknowledge of events, it was a relief to know that Loki’s plan had worked and that the last remaining threat to their baby was gone.

Fury’s expression softened a little as he confirmed, “He’s dead.”

Nina leaned into Loki. Fury took it as her needing comfort, but it was in fact her show of thanks.

Fury looked from one to the other. “If I find out you had anything to do with this, not even Odin will save you,” he promised.

Loki nodded in acknowledgement. “Might we be permitted to sleep now? I believe we’ve jumped through quite enough of your hoops for one day.”

Fury walked out, shaking his head, and Nat poked her head in.

“I can show you to a room but if you want to wait and sleep in your own beds, we’re only an hour from New York now.”

Nina and Loki shared a look.

“We’ll wait,” they answered in tandem.


	11. Chapter Ten

**Chapter Ten**

Nina was surprised to find Dr Guyde hugging her the next morning.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” the therapist said.

It took Nina a moment to react and by the time she raised her arms, the doctor was pulling away. “Thank you.”

Dr Guyde smiled and gestured to the seats.

“I’m sorry if I overstepped my bounds there, but I was pleased to hear that you were safe.”

“No, it’s fine… I… it was nice,” she smiled shyly at her doctor.

“I hear congratulations are in order.”

“It maybe a little early for that, I’m only 6 days pregnant.” Nina warned but she couldn’t help the smile that formed on her lips.

Dr Guyde nodded and opening her notepad, she asked, “So, how are you today?”

“Okay, I think.”

“You think?”

Nina was silent, unsure how to answer.

“I know it must have been traumatic,” Dr Guyde assured her. “Hopefully we can deal with those traumas before they get too bad and possibly manifest in harmful ways.”

Nina decided to tell the truth. “I’m not saying it was easy, or that I enjoyed it or anything but, in some ways, I, uh, I actually think it might have been therapeutic.”

“Therapeutic? How so?”

“Maybe that’s the wrong word but…” she sighed and tried to collect her thoughts. “My biggest fear has been that they would capture me again but I now know I can endure it. Not only that, I chose to endure it for the greater good, I guess, and that makes me feel…”

“Strong?”

“Yes. At the same time, I think I’d forgotten how it felt to be in their power. I know I wasn’t really kidnapped but… the feeling of powerlessness was sometimes so strong, I almost forgot I was there by choice. When they told me to do things… It reminded me of when they used to tell me to do things, and I would never even questioned it. It didn’t even occur to me.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“In some ways. I used to feel guilty about the people they ordered me to kill but going back into that situation, knowing everything you taught me, like how to say no, I don’t think I ever had a choice, not really. I don’t think those deaths were my fault.”

“So you’ve forgiven yourself?”

“I think I have, and that leads onto the third thing I learned.”

“Which is?”

“I’m a killer.”

“I thought you just said-”

“That the murders I was ordered to do weren’t my fault, but the others were. What I learned is that I don’t care.”

“You don’t-”

“Care? No, I don’t. Every person I have killed out of choice has been someone who hurt me, or who planned to hurt me. Maybe it makes me a bad person but I can't seem to feel bad about that.”

“So you’re glad you did this then?”

Nina was silent for a moment as she considered. “Not glad. I’m glad I had these revelations. I’m so happy to know I’m pregnant. I feel more at ease with myself but all things considered, I’d rather have come by this knowledge another way. But it didn’t happen another way, so I’m going to hold onto my silver lining.”

“That sounds very rational. Now, can we go into a bit more depth over what happened?”

“No offence, Doctor, but can’t you just read the SHIELD debriefing? I’ve been over and over this and honestly, I’ve had enough.”

“I understand, but I’d like to take you through it from a therapeutic standpoint. Much as you might wish they hadn’t, these things did happen, and I want to find out how you feel and give you the tools to cope with unpleasant memories.”

Nina nodded and haltingly, began her tale once more. This time she was met with only compassion, and questions about how she felt, or how events affected her. Nina already knew many of the coping mechanisms, they were CBT techniques, but she felt lighter by the time she left the session.

***

“I must tell Father what’s been happening,” Thor admitted to Loki.

They were on the one of the balconies of Loki’s apartment, but on the shaded side of the building. It was just habit to sit in the shade rather than the sun now.

“Must you,” Loki sighed. “He’ll only bind my magic once more.”

“I don’t think he will,” Thor said with a smile as he sipped his coffee, making Loki wait for an answer. “When this started, I went to Odin and begged him to free your powers but he told me that he couldn’t. The spell he used meant that your powers would only be freed if you used them entirely for unselfish purposes, such as to protect another.”

“But protecting _my_ child is selfish, isn’t it?” Loki asked.

“I would say that children are one of the few things that make us completely unselfish. I don’t even have any but I already know I'd lay my life down for them.”

Loki nodded, seeing the sense in Thor’s words.

“But I wanted to my powers to help Nina before all this happened.”

“Aah, but you cannot deny that there was a selfish aspect to helping her overcome her problems, no? You wanted a relationship with her, am I correct?”

Loki huffed but Thor wasn’t wrong.

“So he won’t bind them again?”

“I highly doubt it. He hoped that in sending you here, you would become worthy of your powers, as I did.”

“Well if he expects a thank you, he’ll be waiting a long time.”

Thor laughed and sipped his coffee.

“Hello,” Nina called as she entered.

“Out here,” Thor called.

Nina joined them seconds later, putting her sunglasses on to give her eyes a little extra protection.

“I understand congratulations are in order,” Thor grinned at her.

“Well, it might be a little soon to say that,” she hedged.

“Fear not, I shall bring a healer from Asgard when next I return.”

“Thanks,” she didn’t exactly sound enthused as she took a seat.

Sensing her discomfort, Thor finished his coffee and got up.

“Well, I’ll leave you to enjoy your morning.”

Once he was gone, Loki reached out and took Nina’s hand.

“How are you?” he asked.

“Okay, I’m just worried… I don’t know.”

“Tell me, please,” Loki asked.

“You’ll think I’m silly.”

“I promise I won’t.”

She had to look away before she could reply. “I’m worried that if I get too happy about this too soon, I’ll jinx it.”

“Believe it or not, I understand that sentiment,” he said gently. “Magic has its own superstitions and although I don’t necessarily believe them, I obey them.”

Nina smiled and squeezed his hand. “So, do you, uh, think we should talk about this?”

“Do we need to?”

“Well,” she took a deep breath. “We’ve hardly spoken about children, and we’ve only had sex once so far, and, well, nothing about this is normal.”

Loki’s smile was contented.

“But then again, we’re not exactly normal,” he reasoned. “The unusual start to our relationship aside, I was raised as an Aesir but am in fact Jotun, you were raised human but are now mostly Lamey. We’re both unique, so why should we expect that having a family would be any different?”

Nina nodded but she seemed hesitant. “That doesn’t exactly… I mean, it reassures me but it… doesn’t, if that makes sense.”

“I admit, I have no idea what to expect from this pregnancy but we’ll work through things together.”

“But how are we even compatible? We’re different species.”

“We were, once, but you’re Lamey now, well, 80% Lamey. It’s thought that the Lamey and the Jotun share a common ancestor.”

Nina nodded. “Okay, so we take this one day at a time. I can do this.”

“I do have one questions,” Loki sounded hesitant. “Aren’t you worried she might look like the specimen we discovered?”

“We still have to bury her ashes,” Nina remembered. “Or scatter them.”

“SHIELD is evaluating them before returning then to us. I expect they’re searching for remnants of DNA.”

“For good guys, they sometimes seem an awful lot like the bad guys,” Nina noted.

“But about our child, will you love it if it looks like the Lamey specimen, or like this.” He used his magic to shed his Aesir form and allow his Jotun image to take over.

Nina hissed and withdrew her hand from his, but she didn’t seem frightened.

“Our baby will be half that monster in the lab, and half this monster.”

Nina looked sympathetic. “He or she will be my baby, and a mother’s love is not so superficial.”

“She could look like a monster.”

“She could look like a dog for all I care. She’s _my baby_ , Loki, I don’t care what she looks like, I only care that she’s healthy and even if she isn’t, I’ll still love her.”

“She?” Loki asked.

“I know, I know, it’s far too early to know and I have no proof and I am trying to say ‘he or she’, but it feels like a she.”

“And what about me, I don’t repulse you in this form?” he asked softly.

“I don’t care what you look like,” she said with sincerity. “You’re still my Loki, even if you do give me frost bite.”

Loki changed back and reached for her hand again.

“Thank you.” He smiled at her, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

“What for?” she asked, genuinely confused.

“For accepting me for what I really am, for accepting our child, no matter how she looks.”

Nina suddenly felt terribly sorry for him, that he would think any parent might not love their child based on looks.

She hadn’t heard a lot about his parents, other than his griping about Odin, but when she did meet them she’d be damn sure to give them a piece of her mind.

***

Nina was a month into her pregnancy and she had finally allowed Thor to return to Asgard for a healer. She had forbidden him from telling anyone on Asgard before now, worried that telling people too soon would jinx it. She’d ideally like 3 months before she told people, but she knew Thor was dying to tell his mother, and Loki was dying to have her seen by a healer.

Bruce had been monitoring her and he seemed happy with her progress, so she had finally given Thor permission.

Tomorrow she expected to become a pincushion for an alien healer but for today, she had an essay to complete on inequality.

To be fair, it was only 500 words and not exactly hard, but the point wasn’t to argue for a point of view or prove a theory, the point was to teach her how to write a university essay, skills such as how to properly quote, and how to cite her sources.

She’d watched the short video she was supposed to base her essay on a dozen times and as she started it once more, she could almost quote it by heart, but what she couldn’t do was start her essay.

It was fear stopping her, fear that she wasn’t clever enough to do this. The fact is, it’s easier to give up than to fail and this was it, if she started this essay, she would have committed herself. How embarrassing would it be to have to tell everyone that she had failed?

But if she didn’t try, she would never succeed.

For seventy years she had been waiting for her life to begin, and now it was. She needed to decide if she was just along for the ride or if she was going to pilot it.

The video ended so she minimised the window and turning to the open word document, she began typing.

In all she wrote nearly 600 words, but she would edit it down later. Now she looked to the instructions for how to format the essay.

She was just compiling her bibliography when she heard the front door open.

“She won’t thank you for it,” she heard Loki say.

“Loki, please, I just want to say hello.”

“But she doesn’t want a fuss made. She’s worried it could jinx the pregnancy.”

“And I promise I won’t make a fuss. Now where should I put these?”

“On the table. The Queen of Asgard has travelled to Midgard just to meet her. A fuss has already been made, Mother.”

Nina froze. The Queen was here? Not just the Queen, Queen, but the Queen of the entire universe?

No. No, she was Loki’s Mum. Just Loki’s Mum.

That was scary enough.

But she was Loki’s mum. She was one of the people who made Loki believe he was unlovable, and that Nina wouldn’t be able to love their child. That realisation helped a lot with her nerves.

She saved her document and headed towards the living room, meeting them part way, in the hallway that led to their bedroom.

“Oh, my dear, you must be Nina.”

“Your highness,” Nina curtseyed.

“Oh no, no, call me Frigga, please,” she took hold of her shoulders and kissed her cheek. “I hope you will come to think of me as a friend, if not family.”

Nina was completely disarmed by her and despite not liking being touched, didn’t even flinch.

“Um…” Unfortunately being disarmed came with an inability to form a coherent sentence.

“Now my dear, Loki tells me that you’re rather skittish about this pregnancy, and I completely understand why. I came myself in case you’d prefer me to look after you, I’m trained in healing but I’m not an actual healer, which might allay some of your superstitions. If you’re worried though, I have brought a healer with me who can look you over. I also gathered every reference we have to the Lamey and to Jotun pregnancies. I hope that between us, we can become experts and allay all your fears.”

“Oh, um, thank you.”

“It’s my pleasure, my dear.”

“Why don’t we chat in the living room,” Loki said, putting an arm around their shoulders and guiding both women down the hallway. “I’ll make us some tea.”

“You’re making tea now?” Frigga asked.

“Oh yes, I’ve become very domesticated,” Loki deadpanned.

***

“Loki?” Nina sat forward on the sofa, her hands over her stomach. “Loki, I think I’m going into labour.”

Loki rushed to her side. “Are you sure? Could it be these more Braxton Hicks contractions?”

He had read What To Expect When You’re Expecting and now he not only thought himself an expert, he used Midgardian parlance when discussing her pregnancy.

The truth was, between the Lamey history, the Jotun records, Hydra’s records and all the general reading he had done on pregnancy, he was the closest thing to an expert. He and Bruce had been working together to get as accurate picture of her biology as possible, but it was clear that it wasn’t going to be an easy pregnancy.

At 8 months the baby was half as large again as a full term human baby, plus he still had another three months to grow and the simple fact was, Nina was too small to give birth to it naturally. Lamey and Jotun babies typically weigh 15 to 22 lbs at birth.

They had studied many options, even going to Asgard to see what their healers advanced technology could offer, but it turned out there was nothing they could do. With almost all other pregnancy complications they could work miracles (at least from a human’s perspective) but what they could not do, was make Nina grow three feet taller, and her pelvis correspondingly wider.

Instead it was decided that a human caesarean was the only solution. Asgard had no use of such crude surgical methods, thus was of little help. Still, between Nina’s healing factor, Frigga’s healing abilities, Loki’s magic, Bruce’s medical knowledge, and a very nice surgeon Tony had found for them, everyone was reasonably confident that the operation would be a success.

Nina was sure too, but not sure enough to calm her fears. She had waited 70 years for what felt like a miracle baby, and she couldn’t quite believe that nothing was going to go wrong.

She nodded at Loki, admitting that her contractions probably were Braxton Hicks, and she silently berated herself for always jumping to the worst conclusion.

“Sorry,” she said sheepishly.

“It’s alright, love,” he smiled at her. “I’d rather you told me about a hundred false alarms than miss the real one. Come.” He patted his lap.

Nina leaned sideways on the sofa until her head touched his thigh and she settled there; it was one of the few cuddling positions that was still comfortable, and despite the odd contraction, she began to relax as he stroked her hair.

She’d need to watch the tutorial on the big screen again tomorrow because she couldn’t concentrate enough to take it all in now, but she was well ahead of herself on the coursework and pleased with her progress.

She sometimes wished there was coursework she could do for pregnancy, work that meant she was sure to get a passing grade. Unfortunately there were too many variables that were out of her hands.

“Any cravings?” Loki asked.

Nina smiled. She wasn’t sure why she had cravings, if perhaps the baby needed nutrients her blood didn’t offer, but the foods she craved didn’t exactly seem healthy.

She wanted things like peanut butter and sriracha sandwiches, which isn’t that unusual perhaps, until you realise that the person craving it is a vampire with little ability to taste or process regular foods.

Likewise she sometimes craved ice cubes or ice shavings which had no nutritional value, lemons and sriracha, anything that had been pickled in vinegar (usually with more sriracha), Thai or Ghost Peppers, and aged gouda with raw red onion.

She didn’t eat much of them, too much regular food could make her feel uncomfortable, but her requests always entertained those around her.

She no longer drank her blood warm either, preferring it chilled and often adding ice. She’d also turned the heating down and her body temperature had dropped another 5 degrees, so she was now 10° Celsius lower than the normal human temperature, clocking in at about 26’5° rather than 37°. Loki suggested it was because the foetus was part Jotun but whatever the reason, Nina didn’t feel any ill effects from the cold.

“I wish they made sriracha ice cream.”

“Jarvis,” Loki called. “Do they make hot ice cream?”

_‘Not commercially, but there are recipes online, and Mr Stark has an ice cream maker in one of the catering kitchens. ’_

“And how long will that take?”

_‘Approximately an hour, Sir.’_

“Would you like me to..?” Loki asked.

“Thanks, but I wouldn’t mind doing it myself. I’ve studied enough for one day and as ungainly as I am right now, getting up and about is good for me.”

“If you’re sure.”

“Yeah. Time for my daily waddle.”

“You don’t waddle, you glide, my darling.”

She sat up and gave him a look which questioned his sanity.

With her stomach swollen to enormous size, despite her preternatural grace, since her centre of gravity had changed so rapidly, it took some contorting for her to get to her feet and as much as he denied it, she did waddle.

She worried that in another month or two, she’ll be too large and unwieldy to move much at all.

***

They had tried an epidural but it was only partially successful, leaving Nina biting down on a stack of tongue depressors while she squeezed Loki’s hand.

As well as Loki and his pulverised hand, also present was the surgeon and Bruce as his assistant; they were the other side of the surgical screen that bisected her torso. Opposite Loki stood Frigga, and a healer waited by the wall, just in case. Outside the room, her friends paced the hallway.

Mercifully the pain didn’t last even a fraction of the time that a normal birth would have and knowing how quickly she healed, with the retractor holding her incision open, they surgically removed the placenta in record time.

As soon as the edges of her incision touched they began to knit back together and her pain lessened dramatically and she relaxed back onto the bed, spitting the tongue depressors out and panting heavily.

“Here,” Frigga held a straw to her lips and she drank greedily, knowing the blood would help her to heal.

Then she heard a cry and her head shot up. With all the pain she had just endured, she had almost forgotten why they had done all this.

“My baby?” she asked, her tone worried.

“She seems fine,” Bruce answered, wrapping her up in a blanket. “Happy and healthy.”

“Can I hold her?”

“Sure, just another second.”

Bruce brought her around the screen and handed her to Nina, who settled her in her arms. She was a greyish blue in colour, with pink, almost purple eyes, and easily twice the size of human baby.

Nina looked to Loki and they shared a smile before returning their adoring gaze to their baby.

“She’s so precious,” Nina whispered, brushing the back of her index finger over the baby’s cheek.

Loki was beyond words now and settled for pressing a kiss to her baby soft hair.

“Loki! LOKI!” Nina suddenly cried as her daughter’s facial features began to change. “What’s happening?”

Loki seemed as confused as she was and reached his hand out to see if he could detect what magic was harming his child.

“Relax, darlings,” Frigga said, smiling at them. “She’s a shapeshifter, like her father.”

Loki looked from Frigga to his daughter and back. She now appeared to be completely human, albeit with white blonde hair, like her mother, and green eyes, like her father.

“What?” Nina demanded, not feeling her most eloquent right now.

“You mean Odin didn’t make me look like an Aesir?” Loki asked.

“No,” Frigga smiled kindly. “If he had, he would have given you blonde hair, like everyone else. The fact is, you’re a shapeshifter and when Odin was the first person who showed you affection, you imprinted on him, and changed your body to imitate his.”

Loki had always been able to change his form, anything from changing gender to becoming an animal, but it had never occurred to him that his Aesir form was not the one he was born with. Not until Thor took him to Jotunheim. Even then, he thought that as a newborn he was too young to shapeshift and assumed that Odin had changed him.

He didn’t know how he felt about this new information but for the moment, he had more important things to worry about.

“Well,” he leaned over and pressed another kiss to his daughter’s head. “It’s nice to know you take after your papa.”

Nina smiled at him.

“Are you all right?” He asked her.

“I’m healing nicely.” She nodded. “In an hour no one will know I was ever pregnant.”

Loki leaned down and kissed her softly.

Bruce coughed quietly. “If it’s okay, now might be a good time for us to take some measurements, and you’re healed enough to grab a shower. By the time you’re done, she’ll probably need her first feed.”

Nina didn’t sweat like she used to but she was covered in blood and other fluids, and she knew babies had to be weighed and checked over for health, so she passed the baby over.

“No, no,” Frigga said as Nina tried to get up. “You need more blood or you won’t heal as quickly.”

She handed her another glass and Nina dutifully sipped it.

“Sixteen pounds, five ounces,” Bruce announced.

No one said that she was small for her species but everyone, especially Loki, knew it was true.

Nina felt relieved, hoping that her child wouldn’t be out of place at nine feet tall. Loki also felt reassured, knowing how the Aesir had teased him for being slight, dark haired, and magical. He didn’t want his daughter enduring the same because she was a little different.

Nina finished her glass of blood and handed it to Frigga, who in exchange, gave her a dressing gown to protect her modesty.

“Thank you, everyone” Nina said as she slipped off the table. “You’ve all been amazing.”

“Hey, can we come in yet?” she heard Stark call from the hallway.

Everyone looked to Nina who called, “Sure thing.”

The room flooded with people, but they all avoided Nina and made a beeline for the baby who was, after all, the newcomer.

Nina slipped an arm around Loki’s waist and just watched things for a few moments.

There was so much love in this room, more than she had ever believed possible and even although she wasn’t being showered with affection, she knew each and every person here would do whatever it took to protect her and her child.

Without any conscious intention, somehow she had found herself a family. She knew that it wouldn’t matter how much time or distance separated them, they would always be there for each other if needed.

“I know your protective instincts are probably in overdrive right now, but try not to kill anyone while I’m gone,” she whispered to Loki.

“I make no promises.” Loki chuckled softly and turned to her. “Thank you, my darling.”

“What for?” she gave him a confused smile.

“She’s perfect,” he said, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to her lips.

Nina sighed with contentment and held Loki a little tighter, trying not to cry.


End file.
